If You Really Knew Me

A few weeks ago we played this game at Young Life leadership called, “If You Really Knew Me, You’d Know…” where everyone sits in a big circle and then goes around the room sharing weird, random, and sometimes embarrassing personal facts about their lives… it’s a get to know you kinda thing where you find out that there are guys who crochet and girls who burp louder than any human should. It’s a time for people come clean about having every episode of Family Matters memorized, while others (like myself) admit to being completely obsessed with Harry Potter.

That game is a ton of fun and always good for a laugh, but while you definitely learn some crazy stuff about people, it’s not how you really get to know someone. To get to know a person… and I mean really know them, you have to spend time with them, talk to them, enter into their world and live your life alongside theirs. To really know someone, you have to share experiences, laugh together, cry together and just be together. There are tons of people in my life who I know and consider to be friends, but there are maybe only a few that I would say I really and truly know deeply, and those are not people I just randomly hang out with. Those people are the ones I’ve lived life with… the ones where I have sometimes had a hard time telling where my experiences end and theirs begin...

In Philippians 3, Paul makes an incredible statement… he says, “I want to know Christ.” When I first read that statement, it seemed a little weird… it’s like, “Well, Paul, you do know Him! He appeared to you! You have seen Him and spoken with Him… why would you say, “I want to know Christ?! If you don’t know Him, who does?” And I think that’s the key… Paul is not just talking about knowing Jesus… not even just believing in Him. He is referring to something bigger and deeper than having Jesus as an acquaintance. He’s talking about really knowing Him, almost like saying, “I want to be one of His best friends!”

Whenever I come across that verse, I can feel a deep emphasis on the word ‘know,’ almost as if Paul is shouting through the page and across the centuries that he really, really wants to know Jesus… not just know Him, but deeply and intimately know Him. And after he says that, he qualifies the statement with what he believes it takes to really know Jesus well. Because Jesus is a person after all, and you don’t really know Him just because you know random facts about Him… I mean, picture the Lord sitting in a circle in the living room saying, “If you really knew me, you’d know… Uh, let’s see… ah yes, you’d know that I can walk on water and read your mind… right this second.”

Paul says, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.” What does it take to really know Jesus? Well, as I said, He’s a person, so you have to spend time with Him… live life with Him… share experiences… feel His hurt. Live your life with Jesus, learning what it means live a new life empowered by the resurrection. Live your life with Jesus learning what it means to suffer and have people mistreat you, talk about you and push you out of their lives because they don’t want God’s love. Live your life with Jesus, laying it down in sacrificial love every day… I don’t know about you, but I want a life like that… a life where I do more than just believe in Jesus… a life where I live alongside Him so that we share experiences and so that I might really know Him.

An old Picture of Anna in a Santa Claus hat, because...


It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like…

Well, not really. Actually, I don’t even think Wal-mart is decking the halls yet, but I have been thinking about Christmas all this week. You see, when you write church music, you have to think ahead liturgically which means that when everyone is watching bowl games on New Year’s day, still basking in the radiating joy of Christmas, I am already thinking about Good Friday and Easter music. And when everyone is mowing their yards for the last few times as fall really starts to kick in, I’ve already been thinking about the baby boy in the manger… the greatest story of all.

My favorite themes to write Christmas music around are the juxtaposition of opposing concepts… you know like the fact that Jesus who is King over all was not born in a palace and into fame and riches, but born into poverty in a stable… and the way the Almighty Master and Creator of the universe became a helpless newborn… the way the Great I AM, perfect in wisdom and knowledge became an infant incapable of speech. I love those ideas because they seem to be the ways God does everything… sort of backwards… you know, like the fact that weakness is strength, laying down your life is keeping it and the first will be last.

Well, in the middle of working on and thinking about Christmas music, I was reading Isaiah 46 this week and came across a verse that captures one of those cool, backwards thoughts, and it might just be a Christmas verse… In verse 13 the Lord says, “I am bringing my righteousness near; it is not far away…”

When I first read that verse I thought about the fact that the righteousness of God is about as far away as anything could ever be! When you sit down and read about what is righteous according to the Lord in the books of the Law, you find that the only thing about His righteousness that is near is the fact that it’s nearly impossible for us to be righteous in any way! The idea of God’s righteousness being near is almost a ridiculous concept… that is, until you consider Jesus.

When God Almighty took off His glory and put on skin, becoming a tiny baby on that first Christmas, the righteousness of God came near. That which is so unbelievably far away and so impossibly unattainable moved in to our little planet and walked around. The Righteousness of God grew up, had friends, went over to their houses, sang songs, ate food and laughed over jokes and good times. The Righteousness of God came near... near enough to touch, and then laid down His life, dying in our place, so that Paul was able to write those unparalleled words in Romans 3:21 which say, “But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known…”

Christmas isn’t here yet, but I’m getting fired up just thinking about it, because it means that the thing that is farthest away from me was brought near… It means that I can have the righteousness of God! As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5, “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”


and now, a little video post from my Mom's most recent visit (with a little help from Allison Krauss & Union Station)

Fundies

(not to be confused with dundies)

I don’t remember too many things from being a little kid with any kind of clarity, but if there is one thing that sort of permeates all of my really old memories, it is football. With dad being a football coach, it seemed like that game was always a part of our lives. Officially, there was an off season, but not for dad. I can remember work-outs with players, picture day, scrimmages, picnics, banquets and of course the intensity and rush of Friday nights in this football-loving town. I can remember Dad spending every fall Sunday night at the kitchen table painstakingly drawing out the blocking schemes for that next week on a manila folder that would be color-coded, laminated and then referenced for the rest of the week.

I have this one memory of Dad bringing home a video tape marked, “Fundies.” I had no idea what that meant, but I remember him watching that tape and wondering why he had to do it. See, it wasn’t a tape about the latest and most creative, new-fangled blocking schemes. It was a tape about how to get in the right stance, how to pull for a trap and where to put your hands for a good, solid, base block. It was the basics. I was confused as to why my dad, who had had played football in college and coached for like a kabillion years had to watch a tape about the basics. I mean, I was just a little kid, but growing up in that house, even I knew when to call a QB draw and exactly what an offensive coordinator is thinking when you’re on your own 8 yard line… That’s when Dad told me that “Fundies” meant “Fundamentals” and that if our players weren’t experts in the basics, they didn’t have anything.

This past week Christy and I tried an experiment… We were talking one night and the stress in the room was thick. We were both just down and dark about all kinds of stuff and we didn’t know what to do about anything. We tried to talk ourselves out of all of our fears and problems, but it wasn’t really helping. Finally we decided to take it one spiritual problem at a time… to identify one area of our life where we were straight-up forsaking a fundamental teaching of the Lord and just spend that week working on that one basic thing.

When we looked at our conversation, we had tons of anxiety and fear about things in our future… would the show on Wednesday be a disaster? Will our kids be well- equipped for Kindergarten? What is it going to be like when they are 14? In Matthew 6, Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? …Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

So, we’ve made it our goal to take this one basic teaching of our Lord and focus on actually obeying it this week… to listen to each other and help each other to become an expert at this one ‘fundie,’ and guess what? It is possible! We’ve been doing it all week! I think a lot of times we look at Jesus’ teachings and just blow them off, thinking, “Yeah, whatever… blah, blah.” But I think He really meant us to do this… to really stop worrying about anything that exists in tomorrow or after. I know one thing, I have had one of the most joy-filled and laugh-infested weeks I’ve had in a long time and it’s all because we just decided to trust Him and let Him deal with tomorrow as well as the next decade. What would happen if we just took Jesus seriously and became experts at the basics? I’m going to try to find out. I’ve tasted a sip this week and behold, it was good!

Anna drew this picture of Nan for her birthday this past Wednesday...

On Taking Tests

Have you ever known people that make you feel like you never meet their expectations? You know, people who always for some reason make you feel like when you’re around them you’re just failing their tests? It’s like, when you entered the room, you didn’t know it, but you needed a number 2 pencil because the exam was about to begin, but you might as well give up now, because nothing you do will be good enough… I have had tons of people like this in my life. When I was in high school I had long hair and was in a really loud (and pretty bad) rock band and I had teachers who just didn’t like me and it was because of the way I looked and the skater friends I had. It didn’t really matter how hard-working or insightful I was in their class, they had a test called the “I think good students should look a certain way” test, and I failed it every day.

Just the other day I was playing guitar and singing at a fund-raising banquet for some ministry here in town and when I arrived, the lady who booked me came up to me and said in a real sugary voice, “Hey there Lee! Oh! I see you forgot to shave this morning!” (In case you missed it, what just happened was this lady saying, “In order to pass my test, you needed to wear a tie and shave your face.”) Her disappointment with me was tangible. It was like an invisible but very substantial wall in between us. I had failed to please her… failed to meet her expectations… failed her test.

The problem is that everyone around us has expectations for us. And we care so desperately what other people think about us that we take their tests trying to pass to get their approval. Why would we do just about anything to get people to think we’re cool or good enough or that we have it all together? Why are we like this? –Because we want to be liked more than anything! We want to be cool more than anything! We want to be noticed, but we want more… we want to be cherished! We want to be wanted and if we are going to be wanted, we are going to have to please other people, right?

Paul said this in Galatians 1:10, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Then over in 1 Corinthians 4:3 he says, “I care very little if I am judged by you or any human court; indeed I do not even judge myself.” Then, and lastly in 1 Thessalonians 2:4 Paul says, “We are not trying to please men, but God who tests our hearts.”

You see, the only test you have to worry about passing is the test God is giving. So what if other people throw tests on you… you don’t have to pass them. You are accepted and loved by the God of the universe! You are only being given one test that matters… and that is the test God is giving your heart. Do you remember what Jesus said when asked what works God requires? He said “The work God requires is this, to believe on the One He has sent.” –it’s just about believing in Jesus, and believing in Him includes believing what He says about you now… that you are loved, accepted and valuable to Him.

When that lady said to me, “Oh, I see you forgot to shave.” I said, “No, I didn’t.” Then she answered back, “Oh, so you’re growing your beard out?” And I said, “Nope. Just didn’t shave.” She looked at me with such disappointment and such confusion that the big fat ‘F’ she just gave me on her test didn’t seem to bother me… a while back it would have, but I’m learning to believe in Jesus more. I’m starting to believe what He says about me and passing God’s test is good enough for me.

So, Caedmon's Call has a new record out... Derek's back and so is Caedmon's. Go buy one. For real.

So-called Little Things

A few weeks ago Christy broke her foot and I played the role of Mr. Mom around our house. Now, I have done a lot of difficult things in my day including contact sports, AP classes, a college degree in four years, teaching a class of 36 ninth graders, lots of public speaking, composing for orchestra, leading a band and even stuff like plumbing and sheetrock; but I have never done anything that is anywhere near as hard as what my wife does. I love my two little girls more than I ever imagined was possible, but taking care of them full time is the most challenging thing I have ever tried to do.

Christy and I have great kids, but having kids (even great ones) is really hard. During my week as mom I learned a lot about my wife that made my eternal respect for her climb through the roof. For one thing, everything I did was undone in what felt like ten seconds. I would work so hard on the dishes just to turn around and find 10 million more dirty ones waiting on me in no time. I would bust my tail on laundry all evening just to find that all the humans in the house used more clothes the very next day making more piles of evening sucking laundry! I worked hard on food they didn't eat which meant I had to dirty more pots, pans and dishes making more food while the piles of books, toys and crayons all over the once clean floor multiplied like wildfire. How I made it through that time without going absolutely bonkers escapes me.

This little temporary trip into my wife's world showed me that there are some serious areas in my spiritual life that are underdeveloped. I learned that I am an excessively selfish person who doesn't get a whole lot of practice in laying down his life. I learned that I rock at complaining which, like golf, is a sport in which a low score is what you want. I learned that a life in 'direct, full-time ministry' isn't always where you find the spiritual studs. I think that in the Christian world we sometimes assume that the really important stuff is only happening on the so-called front lines where the Gospel is being preached and the Word of God is being shared and taught... And don't get me wrong, that stuff is important... but every life can be infinitely important, and when it is lived for Christ, every little thing is huge.

Back in the day in Israel the High Priest was the most important dude with the most important job when it came to things of God. He had special clothes that no one else got to wear with bells on the hem and a golden plaque on his turban that read, "Holy to the LORD." In Zechariah 14, a prophecy tells us what it's going to be like near the end of days and he says in verse 20 that "On that day "HOLY TO THE LORD" will be inscribed on the bells of the horses, and the cooking pots in the LORD's house will be like the sacred bowls in front of the altar. Every pot in Jerusalem and Judah will be holy to the LORD Almighty..."

We're in those days... days when everyday things are holy and everyone is just as special and important to God as the High Priest. Whether you are sitting in chemistry class, filling out expense reports in a cubicle or cooking up mac & cheese for the kids, you can live those moments in a way that is holy to the LORD. Every seemingly little thing can actually be a very important thing. Loving your classmates, co-workers and kids because you are laying down your life to serve the One who gave His life for you is about the holiest thing you can do.

Caedmon's Call has a new song called Sacred written by Randall Goodgame and Andrew Osenga and the lyrics help me remember my awesome wife, how hard her job is and how much I need to grow:

This house is a good mess
It's the proof of life
No way would I trade jobs
But it don't pay overtime

I'll get to the laundry
I don't know when
I'm saying a prayer tonight
'Cause tomorrow it starts again

Could it be that everything is sacred
And all this time
Everything I've dreamed of
Has been right before my eyes

The children are sleeping
But they're running through my mind
The sun makes them happy
And the music makes them unwind

My cup runneth over
And I worry 'bout the stain
Teach me to run to You like they run to me
For every little thing

When I forget to drink from You
I can feel the banks harden
Lord, make me life a stream
To feed the garden

Wake up little sleeper
The Lord, God Almighty
Has made your mama keeper
So rise and shine, rise and shine,

'Cause everything is sacred
And all this time
Everything I've dreamed of
Has been right before my eyes

Anna driving the boat on the 4th of July!

Mining

At the end of every day in our house, Anna has to clean up her toys before going to bed. As a general rule, she does this pretty well, but there are nights when it seems impossible that she will be able to focus and do the work. She stalls, plays with the toys, wants to come up on the couch and snuggle, has to use the bathroom a hundred times and even lies down on the ground impersonating insects… The thing that blows me away is that when she just gets down to the task at hand, she knocks it out fairly quickly and gets rewarded, but when she messes around, it stretches the whole thing on forever and ever with no reward.

Of course, I do the same things. When I was in high school, I could find a million things that I “needed” to attend to instead of homework. I would gladly do yard work, dishes, laundry and even exercise if it meant I could blow off some chemistry equations for later. And it’s not just me either… why do you think one of the first things they put on PCs was solitaire and minesweeper? How many guys spend more time in their cubicles tweaking their fantasy football teams than filling out time sheets and expense reports? How many people lose precious hours following novels, blogs and playing video games when they know that filing will be waiting on them and that phone call is going to have to be made eventually? How much time do we spend running from what needs to be done? And how much junk can we pretend is important when we don’t want to do what really is important?

In Job 28, he starts talking about mining and just how far people will go to get their hands on gold and jewels when there is something else they should be seeking… He says, “There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined… man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses… far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft, in places forgotten by the foot of man; far from man he dangles and sways… no bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon’s eye has seen it. Proud beasts do not set foot on it, and no lion prowls there. Man’s hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains. He tunnels through the rock, his eyes see all its treasures… but where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell?”

You see, people will do anything to avoid the most important thing. They will go where no one ever has. They will risk everything, dangling in the danger of uncharted darkness, but they don’t find what really matters… All that adventurous exploration of cutting shafts, dangling and assaulting the roots of mountains sounds really exciting, but it leads nowhere. Job essentially says, “It gets you gold, but so what? Who cares? What about the thing that really matters?” For the rest of that chapter Job talks about wisdom and how no one understands how valuable it is and how you can’t buy it. He says it’s hidden from the eyes of every living thing but that God knows where it is and how to get to it. In verse 28 he says, “The fear of the Lord – that is wisdom.”

I think that’s what people are running from… we don’t want to humble ourselves in fear before the Lord. That humility is so scary to us that we’ll do anything and risk anything to avoid it. We build up these images of ourselves to fool everyone into thinking we have it all together when it is so much easier to fall down before Him and let Him handle it all. Why should we go to such great lengths just to get our hands on what will never satisfy? Fall down before Him… lay down your life… take up your cross. Leave the adventurous distractions and walk in fear of the Lord… it’s where you’ll find something worth seeking.

On Being a Baby

I keep forgetting that Norah is still a baby. She walks and runs, climbs and spins, talks and sings so well that sometimes I think she’s as grown up as Anna, but she’s not. Now, she’s not an infant anymore, but she’s still a baby… (Does that make sense?) A couple of nights ago Norah woke up screaming at 2:50 AM. I went into the girls’ room and picked her up out of the crib… it must have been a bad dream because she was still asleep even though she was crying. When I held her, she got startled and woke up a little bit and then upon realizing who had her, she sleepily said, “Daddy” and held on tight. I held her for a while and then put her back down to sleep and remembered again that I was dealing with a little baby.

She might be getting bigger and stronger with more coordination and a larger vocabulary, but Norah still needs Mommy and Daddy for pretty much everything. She needs us to feed her and put clothes on her, she needs us to change her and clean up all her various messes and she needs us to read books and turn on Veggie Tales. She can’t open doors, get buckled up or brush her own teeth… and these are just some of the things she’s aware of! There are tons of things she needs us for that she has no idea even exist like maintaining our cooling unit, changing the brakes on the car and paying our property tax. She needs us so much and in the moments in which she understands this fact, she lets us know…

One time in Matthew 18 the disciples asked Jesus who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Jesus called over a little child and had him stand among the disciples and said, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

When Jesus said ‘little child,’ the word He used meant infant. He was talking about babies… maybe little toddling babies like Norah who have just recently learned to walk. Matthew says about this infant that Jesus “…had him stand among them.” I wonder if the little baby boy was holding on with his chubby little hands to the index fingers of the One who made him, trying to stand up and wobbling back and forth. Babies are so cute when they’re just learning to stand and then walk… they need someone to hold them up and they need someone to pick them up when they repeatedly fall.

We are supposed to be like little babies with our heavenly Father… trusting Him for everything, crying out to Him and letting Him take care of all our needs and leaving behind our self-dependence. Christy and I had a moment this week where we had to cry out like that. It was a problem with no apparent solution where we just decided to throw up our hands and say, “Whaaah!” We prayed together and just gave the whole thing to Him… we got to a place where we realized we were helpless and like a little infant who doesn’t know anything about their parents paying the electric bill and washing the dishes, we just said, “Father, You’re going to have to take care of all of this… we just give it to you like a couple of babies.” And guess what, He did. And I don’t know how, just like Norah doesn’t know how her mommy makes those rocking smoothies. She just knows she’s hungry and smoothies are delicious. It’s a great arrangement really… we need everything, He gives everything we need. All we have to do is be totally dependent little babies crying out to our Daddy.

Understanding Me

One of the weirdest things about being a parent is watching your child’s personality develop and seeing yourself in them. When you see things in your kids that are like yourself, it’s like some kind of freaky time warp/psycho therapy session where you get to see how you became you… This doesn’t happen all the time because your kids are not you, they have their own unique personalities, but every now and then you get a glimpse into who you used to be, which I guess helps you understand who you are now.

For instance: Anna is not very fired up about swimming. No matter how many flotation devices we strap on to her, she still freaks out in the pool if all four of her limbs aren’t clinging to us like grim death. She understands how water wings and tubes work, but she still isn’t ready to go under the water or try swimming on her own. She gets this from me… see, Christy swims like a fish and always has, but I was afraid of swimming for a long time. Like Anna, I am not a fan of new, unknown and possibly dangerous things, no matter how much fun other people seem to be having with them. I can still remember the summer I decided I would try to swim under water… It wasn’t until I was well into elementary school, and I spent the preceding Spring drawing pictures of water with two legs coming out, telling everyone about how I was going to do handstands under water… those drawings were received with very little enthusiasm and a lot of sarcastic rolled eyes as everyone was like, “Yeah right.” But I did it, and on my own time… just like Anna will one day.

Way down deep, most people probably think that “…if everyone were a little more like me, this world would be a lot easier to live in.” I think that’s because we sort of understand ourselves… it’s also why we have so many misunderstandings with everyone else… People think, “Why doesn’t everyone love square dancing?” or “Doesn’t everyone think QVC is the coolest?” or “What could possibly be more fun than watching reruns of Bonanza and CHiPs?” It is such a good thing that everyone is so different, with different style, musical tastes, sensitivities, fears, insecurities and sense of humor; however, it's these differences that make relating so hard. I mean, when it comes down to it, I don’t even really understand myself most of the time… how am I supposed to understand someone that is totally different from me? I don’t know why I can’t stand peanut butter and chocolate together except when their powers combine in two very specific desserts, but that’s part of me. I don’t know why I hold grudges against actors when they play really messed up characters, but that’s just the way it is, William H. Macy!

It’s bad enough knowing that we’ll probably never really understand each other, but what about the fact that when it comes down to it, I don’t even get myself?! If I don’t fully understand me, can anyone else? This week I was reading Psalm 33, and verses 13-15 say this: “From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth – He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.”

The One who made my heart knows it. He made it the way it is so that it closes up when I’m surrounded by crowds of people I don’t know and then bursts open when I hear a Dvorak symphony. He knows why I don’t like to dive into change, but take it slow and at my own pace. He knows why cheesy and sappy movies and stories always make me cry all over the place (even when I don’t want them too) because He formed my heart… He designed my personality. He considers everything this heart of mine does because He made it. He made me this way… He gets me. He understands me… and He likes me.

Norah ready for 'back to school' with her backpack, a way-too-big hat and her new crocs...

Secret Wisdom

The other day I was at one of my favorite restaurants which operates out of a little trailer and has been bringing the most addictive Chinese food to the good citizens of Oak Ridge for the past umpteen years. I had just ordered my sweet and sour chicken and fried wontons and gone into the next building to scout out a place to sit when I heard one of the future presidential candidates being interviewed on some political opinion show. The candidate was being asked all about mortgage prices for individual families with blemished credit histories and predatory brokers and their responsibilities in the midst of weak home prices and rising interest rates.

As I wielded my chopsticks amid a flurry of fried rice, it struck me just how much junk the president has to know. And not just know, but be an expert on and have a plan for. It seems like the president has to juggle so much information that simply getting a status report on every single sector of responsibility would take all day long… I guess being the leader of the free world takes a lot of wisdom about a lot of things. If I were president I would probably take the whole first day to find out whether or not I could hit a golf ball and have it roll around the entire perimeter of the oval office without stopping…

I don’t know anything about finances in the private sector or what to do with Pakistan. I have no idea how to find the money we need to provide everyone in this country with awesome health care and I really don’t have a solution for the energy crisis. I don’t know what I’d do if I found out Area 51 was real and we really do have guys like Jason Bourne. When it comes down to the wisdom it takes to lead in this world, I know beans. But, I do have wisdom… and it’s secret wisdom.

In 1 Corinthians 2:6-7, Paul said, “We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.”

The message of the Gospel of God’s grace is like God’s secret that He’s telling anyone who wants to know… it’s like a private club that everyone’s invited to where you find out that money, power, fame and success don’t mean anything and that love is everything… where you find out that we’re all a bunch of needy, messed up failures that God loves and is making into a kingdom of conquering warriors… where you find out that you don’t have to do anything or know anything to be totally accepted by the One who made your heart for the sweet freedom of knowing His.

This week one of my friends lost her mom to cancer. And while the people of power in this world struggled, clawed and debated their way toward position and influence by trying to know the most and talk the loudest, I was in a quiet room with six 18 and 19 year-old guys who got down on their faces to pray for their friend in her loss. It was their idea and it may have just been the quietest, sweetest and strongest gathering of wisdom that took place that day.

Taylor, Michael, Paul and Travis trying not too look like tourists in Chicago...


BFF


"I need to tell you something... do you promise not to tell anyone?"
-Don't you love it when that happens? Isn't it awesome when someone decides to trust you with something, to tell you a secret? It's one way you know that you're close... a mark of friendship. If you're in someone's confidence, you're their friend. Right now my kids are three and a half and one and a half and I know everything about their lives, but it won't always be this way. Someday they'll start liking boys and junk like that, and I'll be on the outside. They'll have other best friends.

You know, I used to be jealous of the Old Testament Patriarch Abraham because he's known as God's friend. I always wished I could be included in this two-person fraternity... God and Abraham, best friends forever... I could just imagine them hanging out, eating cheese burgers or playing frisbee golf. And then I read John 15 where Jesus calls His desciples 'friends' and for some reason I felt Him reaching out from those red letters all the way through 20 centuries and calling me His friend too...

And why? What was the mark of friendship for Jesus? "... everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." In other words, "You're my friends because I tell you stuff... you know all the secrets." Psalm 25:14 says, "The Lord confides in those who fear Him. He makes His covenant known to them."

Paul said that his ministry was making known a mystery that has always been hidden... like a secret. And you want to know what it was? ...That God loves people like me and you and that Jesus died for us too. John said Jesus came to make God known to us... to tell us things about the Father we would have never known otherwise. Peter said that the things we now know are the things the prophets and angels were dying to understand... like secrets we were let in on. Jesus even said that Abraham longed to see His day...

Jesus who is God loves you and has loved you unto death because He wants to know you and you don't have to do anything but take the free gift He's offering you to have forgiveness, a new heart, a place in heaven, power to live this life beautifully and a relationship with Him. These are mysteries, secrets He's letting you in on... why? Because He wants to be friends... best friends.

Me, Tom, Bill and Pottsy at this gigantic, reflective, metalic, ominous, misshapen, outer spacey, egg-type thing in downtown Chicago.

Eating: The Sign of Life

When we went to Chicago last week, we ate the world famous Chicago-style pizza at Giordano’s on Rush St. It’s one of those things you have to do when you’re in Chicago. We were all looking forward to a big day of walking, shopping and taking in the sights, so everyone ordered a ton of food thinking we were at Big Ed’s Pizza back home in ‘the Ridge’ and we would be able to slam tons of hot, cheesy goodness… Well, to make a long story short, we got schooled. It was hot, cheesy and good, but it was way too much for any of us. I have never seen so much food left on the table at a restaurant, but even though we got served, we still had the greatest time just being together and eating…

And by the way, isn’t eating just about the coolest thing? I mean seriously, is there anything better than a really good watermelon? And let’s not forget about brownies and milkshakes… In my life I’ve met plenty of people I have a hard time getting along with, but I’ve yet to meet a piece of bacon I didn’t like! Tom always asks the question, “What if God hadn’t invented eating? What if people just photosynthesized… you know, you walk out into the sun for a while, turn green and you’re good to go for the day?” Praise the Lord He came up with something so much cooler and more fun! I mean, if there were no eating, we wouldn’t have words like ‘delicious’ and ‘scrumptious’ because we just wouldn’t need them.

I was reading about the resurrection this week in the book of Luke and was struck by one thing… food. Eating plays a big part in the raising of the dead in the book of Luke. It sort of becomes a sign of life… in fact, it is the crucial sign of life; the case-closing, convincing proof that the dead has been raised. In Luke chapter 8, Jesus raised a dead girl back to life and while others laughed at the prospect, Jesus told her parents to get her something to eat. In chapter 24, after Jesus Himself was raised from the dead, He spent a long time with two of His followers on the way to Emmaus, but they didn’t really get that it was Him until they sat down to eat and He broke the bread. Later, when Jesus appeared to His disciples, they didn’t believe what they were seeing with their own eyes and so He said, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave Him a piece of broiled fish, and He took it and ate it in their presence.”

So why is eating such a sign of life? I think it has to do with how visceral and physically interactive it is… I mean, ghosts can’t take a piece of fish out of your hand, put it in their mouth, chew it up and say, “Mmm. Got any tartar sauce?” If someone eats, they are really alive and being nourished by what they’re eating. And there it is... the reason behind eating. You see, to get the nourishment out of food, you have to eat it, take it in. No matter how colorful and beautiful the presentation on the plate, it gets crushed, ground up, poured out and broken. Then it descends into unseen depths and nourishes you, giving you everything you need.

When Jesus gave us a way to remember what He did for us on the cross, it was a meal. Bread is broken and wine is poured out. He said they represent His body broken and His blood poured out. His death… His being crushed, His life poured out. With His death and resurrection He has washed us clean and gives us new life, filling us and nourishing us from inside in ways we don’t fully understand. Maybe I’m reaching here, but maybe my veggies aren’t just good for me because of their minerals and junk. Maybe Lucky Charms aren’t just ‘magically delicious.’ Maybe all the awesome food is telling us something about how the One we need more than anything was broken and poured out to give us life.

...And here's Michael giving a valiant effort against a foe that was beyond any of us:

Something From Nothing

Every Tuesday night in one of the toughest neighborhoods in Chicago a group of brothers and sisters in Christ get together to worship the Lord at a service called THE BRIDGE, which is an outreach of Mission:USA. Pretty much everyone you will find at THE BRIDGE has a criminal record. They have all served time. Many have been in gangs and almost all have been slaves to a hard-core drug addiction. Some of the folks at THE BRIDGE are on work release from prison, are in drug rehab or live in a halfway house. It doesn’t sound like your typical American church and there’s a good reason for that… it’s not. There’s nothing typical about THE BRIDGE, and in fact, I’ve never seen anything like it.

We took 15 high-school folks from Christ Community in Oak Ridge, Tennessee up to Chicago to serve and worship at THE BRIDGE and it was an incredible night. The day started out shaky because we wanted to serve Glen, Jane, Mike, Gloria and Jed of Mission:USA by working around their house which they use for ministry, but the weather folks said that it would rain hard all day long with flood warnings. On our way to breakfast, the rain started and it hit us hard. But weather aside, there were other question marks… how would these kids do in such a foreign and intimidating situation? Would they be afraid of people they’ve never met who were so drastically different from them? Would they fearfully cluster up in a corner like a little huddle of petrified white faces? And what about logistics… the deli somehow forgot our order of 200 pieces of fried chicken that we intended to serve the folks at THE BRIDGE… would we have the food we needed in the 15 minutes we had to get it together?

In Romans chapter 4 Paul says that Abraham believed the promise of God even though it didn’t make any sense… God promised the ancient couple children of their own and even though Paul says Abe’s body was as good as dead and Sarah’s womb was dead, Abraham believed that God was able even to reverse death. In verse 17 Paul says that Abraham believed in “…the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.”

In the Message, Eugene Peterson paraphrases that verse by saying, “…what only God could do: raise the dead to life and with a word make something out of nothing.” That’s what our day was like. Even though the radars and people with advanced degrees promised a deluge, the storm zipped passed us and cleared up just in time for us to serve our beloved missionaries. Our kids prayed right there in the grocery store and wouldn’t you know it… 200 pieces of blazing hot fried chicken were ready to go right when we needed them, and then we have our kids…

You would have thought they went to THE BRIDGE every week and had known those brothers and sisters their whole lives. They were giving hugs, clapping and singing together, listening to stories and praying over their new brothers and sisters. Tyler said, “They were the closest, warmest, most open group I have ever been around… I wish I could have talked all night.” He sat by a brother and after they sang praises together he leaned over to Tyler and said, “Are you going to sit with me in heaven? ‘Cause I got a seat for you!”

When it was all over, we sat in the vans as Joe and Connor talked with a brother named Noah. He is 25 years old, has been in prison four times, been stabbed in the head and lost one of his fingers to frostbite because he was living on the streets and sleeping out in the freezing cold. He told Joe and Connor how God has come into his heart and how much he needs the Lord to make it. He shared his prayer requests with our guys and after jotting them down, Connor asked if they could just go ahead and pray it up right there… Many people would have written off Noah as a hopeless case, but now he has an eternal hope and a friend and brother in Tennessee who will never forget him. Our Father truly is the One who calls the dead to life and with a word makes something out of nothing!

O Happy Mourning

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
-Matthew 5:4

I have always wondered what that means. Does that mean that people who lose loved ones are guaranteed comfort after (or in) their grief? I don’t really think so, because some people never get over certain losses. Jesus said this right after saying “Blessed are the poor in spirit…” which meant that happy people are the ones who realize that when it comes to things that matter to God, they are broke… poverty stricken… bankrupt.

When I first realized that about myself, I found out that the awesome person I always thought I was isn’t real… in fact, that person never existed. It’s sort of like I had to have a funeral for him. The great thing is that after mourning over the death of whoever I thought I was, I’ve found out that Jesus never loved that person anyway. He loves the real me… the bankrupt guy… and that makes me happy.

So, I wrote this song and it’s a song about a funeral… my funeral, really. The funeral of whoever I thought I was… and it’s a really upbeat pop song about said funeral.

…

Everybody’s dressed in black exchanging empathetic eyes
They whisper greetings with their heads hanging low
A recorded organ plays hymns to cover up the lies
Like, “He was always so sweet and kind you know…”

“He looks so good.” I hear them say
And that’s all I wanted everyday
But the death of all I was trying to be
Leaves an empty room with only me

And I am not the man I thought I was
He is dead and gone away
I’ve grieved and now I’m happy because
He was never real anyway

I leave flowers at the grave and drive off smiling in my car
‘Cause I don’t have to keep that up another day
See, I fooled them all, including me that I was someone that I am not
But under that whitewash was death and decay

So I’ll leave behind the hidden ness
And embrace this brokenness
Instead of what I was trying to be
I hear that You love fools like me

And I am not the man I thought I was
He is dead and gone away
I’ve grieved and now I’m happy because
You love me more than him anyday

Empty or Full?

What do you do when life becomes a huge disappointment? Things didn’t turn out the way you had hoped and dreamed, your plans came to nothing, you didn’t become who you wanted to be and the people around you are not who you would like them to be. What do you do when you find yourself there? I don’t know about you, but I pout. When I don’t get my way, I sulk and mope around like my three-year-old when she doesn’t get dessert. Now, on the outside, I seem fine, but on the inside I’m down on the ground kicking and screaming, “It’s not fair!”

Case in point… this is a small example and it was a total trifle, but it works: we have been planning on seeing this one movie for over a year and have been looking forward to it like crazy. When it finally came out on Wednesday, we made plans to go on Thursday, but when we looked at the date and then looked at our money, we decided we couldn’t go. It was a hard but wise decision to make. –That was me on the outside. On the inside I was in a total funk… brooding and complaining in my spirit. Now I know that not getting to go to the movies is a stupid reason to pout. I know that life brings real problems that are much harder to swallow than this, but I think it shows how we all handle disappointment in our lives sometimes. And by the way, what are we really saying when we pout on the inside? Who are we pouting to if no one even sees it?

In the Old Testament book of Ruth, Naomi’s husband moved her and her two sons to Moab to live out a famine in Israel. Her husband died, her boys married Moabite women and then they died, leaving Naomi with two foreign daughters-in-law. She decided to go back to Bethlehem and tried to convince the girls to stay in Moab with their own people, but she couldn’t shake Ruth, so she took her home. When Naomi and Ruth arrived in Bethlehem, everyone said, “Hey, is that Naomi? (Which is a name that means ‘pleasant’ or ‘delightful’) “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, (Which means ‘bitter’) because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.”

The thing Naomi didn’t know was that Ruth was going to capture the attention and affections of a wealthy and awesome guy named Boaz who was related to Naomi’s dead husband and therefore in a position to marry Ruth which would save not only their land and the family name, but would keep them from begging and starving and give Naomi grandkids and joy she never thought possible! Naomi thought she was empty, but the Lord wasn’t finished yet! Ruth and Boaz made wedding plans in the middle of the night, and Ruth came home with a sack full of barley and good news. She told Naomi, “He gave me these six measures of barley, saying, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.”

In The Fellowship of the Ring, Gandalf told Gimli, “Despair is for those who see all ends beyond hope… and we’re not there yet.” Our Lord is always working everything out for our good and if we think we have a reason to pout, it’s because He’s not done yet! Just trust Him and hang on. The sun is going to rise after every dark night and He will fill the empty hands. One last note… I went to bed sulking and complaining in my heart on Wednesday night like a baby, and when I woke up on Thursday, I wandered into my kitchen and saw a strange thing… someone had scotch-taped a twenty dollar movie card onto our kitchen window (which is about eight feet off the ground) and on Thursday night the hands I called empty were filled with popcorn!

Standing Ovation

Well, we’re over halfway through the year and it’s been sort of a weird one for me. I mean, mostly it’s been awesome, but there has been this one weird thing that happened that keeps coming up… Back in February I stood up for something and defended the Scriptures in a private conversation with a friend and when we were done talking, I sort of thought everything was cool and the issue was over, but it wasn’t. Since that time the issue has been growing and spreading and every now and then it comes up to haunt me. Now, it’s not that I’m undergoing terrible persecution or anything like that, but it has been hard.

The friend I spoke with doesn’t want to be friends anymore and I keep finding out that people are talking about me and saying all sorts of untrue and hurtful things. As a result, I can’t really reach out to a whole group of people who are connected with this one person. Every time I think the issue is over, I find out in some way that it is spreading again to more and more people. Now it is even affecting the reputation of other ministries I work with. I know that I have brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world and throughout the ages who have dealt with much worse than slander, gossip and a tainted reputation, but I suppose this is how it starts… you lovingly testify to the hope you have in Christ and you get anger in return.

I’ve been reading the book of Acts lately and one of the things that absolutely jumps off the page in Acts is how much people got into trouble for believing in Jesus and talking about it. Christians were talked about, hunted, arrested, beaten up, stoned and killed. They reached out in love and were answered with uncontrolled rage, but they never stopped testifying about Jesus. Peter actually said that he had no choice… he couldn’t stop talking about the things he had seen and heard. In gentleness and love, but with undaunted courage and strength those guys stood up for Jesus, and many times they stood up alone.

When you stand up for Him, a lot of times you’ll look around and find you’re the only one standing… well, sort of. See, another thing I’ve noticed lately in the book of Acts is the way Jesus shows up when those testifying for Him are in the most trouble. And not only does He show up, but He shows up standing! When Stephen was being murdered by the Sanhedrin he looked into the sky and said, “Look! I see heaven opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” Usually Jesus is sitting there, but for Stephen, He stood up. In another place Paul was in a holding cell in Jerusalem because he was about to be ripped apart in a riot caused by his testimony. Luke says, “The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.”

So far no one has thrown rocks at my face or thrown me in jail for the stand I have taken with Christ, but I do know what it feels like to be lied about and hated by people I love because I have testified about Him… and now I know that no matter what happens, I don’t stand alone because when I stand up for Him, I believe He stands up for me too.

Birthday Parties

Anna already knows what she wants her next birthday party to be like. After we left Madyson Mishler’s fourth birthday party Anna said, “I want my birthday party to be at Cedar Hill too. And I want mac & cheese and peas and corn and ice cream.” Anna absolutely loves parties. I think it’s because she loves to be happy. She loves to laugh and she loves to go crazy. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Well, duh. Who doesn’t love to be happy?” Well trust me, they’re out there. There are people who don’t want to be happy. And I bet they hate birthday parties.

I think birthday parties are cool because they are basically a celebration of existence. When you celebrate someone’s birthday, you’re not recognizing some grand accomplishment or congratulating them on a job well done, you’re just there to say, “Hey, you were born… you exist, and that makes me happy! In fact, it makes me want to celebrate! Not only that, but I’m so pumped about the fact that you exist, that I’m going to buy you some stuff! So let’s party!”

This week when I read Jesus’ story about the guy with two sons in Luke 15, it made me think about birthday parties. You see, when the younger son who had run away came back home, his Father threw him a party. It was a ‘You were dead but now you’re alive’ party. It was a ‘Yay! You exist’ party. It was kind of a re-birthday party. Jesus told this story to show us His heart for us… a heart that’s full of grace. He told it to show us that there is a life of joy available to all who come home to Him. There is a party where you’re the guest of honor and it’s not for anything you did… it’s just about Him loving you. For this son who had run away, it was all his friends and family gathering around to say, “You’re here, and that makes us happy!”

Well, not all his friends and family… Jesus said that his older brother wasn’t there. (This is the brother who had obediently stayed home with the Father the whole time) When he came near the house that night, he saw the catering truck and heard the band playing. He smelled steaks and heard laughter… it was a party! But did he go in? No. Jesus said he refused to go in. In fact, not only would he not go into the party, he made other people leave the good time they were having to talk to him outside. Why? Why was he so angry? Why wasn’t he happy? Why didn’t he join the party?

Well, he said that he wanted a party, but when it comes down to it, he didn’t really. This brother didn’t want a ‘Yay! You exist!’ party. He wanted a victory lap… a winner’s circle… an Olympic podium with him on the top wearing a laurel wreath and a gold medal. He said, “I’ve slaved for you all these years and you throw a party for him!? He spent your money on prostitutes! I never did that! I’ve been here with you, the slave driver… remember?”

“My son,’ the Father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” When I read those words it made me realize that the unhappiest times of my life have been the times when I thought I deserved something, earned something or accomplished something. How could I be ‘always with Him’ and yet be so angry and unhappy? When I have something to prove, I’ve got something to be sad about. But when I give all that up and just exist… when I give up trying to measure up and outdo and just believe that He loves me and is glad that I’m here, I start hearing the music and smelling the grill… when I say, “Okay, I give up trying to win…” He says, “Happy birthday! Let’s party!”

Anna... playing hard at the park

The Fence

When I was growing up, I never joined a gang, owned a gun, sold drugs or looted stores. I never really got in any fights and I never threw a party at my parent’s house when they were gone. Now, I don’t want to give you the impression that I was some sort of perfect little angel… I rebelled just like most teenagers do and I did it for the same reason that most teenagers do… I was trying to find out where my dad’s love stopped.

I don’t think that was my conscious thought when I was in the middle of my rebellion, but looking back, it is exactly what I was doing. My dad was a collegiate athlete who has been a coach now for thirty years. He is a jock. He is a neat freak and extremely responsible. When something has to be done within his area of responsibility, he does it five minutes ago. When I was in high school, Dad was a deacon in the church and sang in the choir. He only listened to the oldies station all day long. He has always been straight-laced and put together.

So… my rebellion? I got into rock music… heavy, fast, screeching rock music. I plastered the walls of my room with Nirvana posters (posters with Kurt Cobain wearing eye-liner). I blasted that music in the house all day long. I grew my hair out long and wore pants that were so baggy that I looked more like Bozo the clown than the skaters I hung out with. Then I asked for a bass guitar for Christmas… and I wasn’t going to be playing Motown on it. I got the bass and started a band that was so loud, unmusical and offensive it is a wonder we weren’t arrested. We practiced in my garage every week for hours on end. Now, this may not sound too drastic to you, but I knew how far I was pushing him. Why did I do it? Well, when it comes down to it, I really did love all that music and I wanted long hair because John Lennon looked so cool with it; but down deep I was running as hard and fast as I could to find the end of my dad’s love and acceptance.

I was looking for the fence… where would it end? When would he snap and reject me? You know, the answer to that question reminds me of the third story Jesus told in Luke 15 about lost things. He said that a man had two sons and that the younger one wanted to break away and live his life his own way. He took his inheritance prematurely (his dad was still alive) and ran off. He did whatever he wanted to do until the money ran out. He ended up sitting in a pig sty jealous of the pigs, starving to death. He remembered his dad and decided to go home thinking, “There’s no way I can ever be his son again, but maybe I could work for him and at least I would eat.” So he stood up and started to walk home. Jesus said, “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”

I never found the fence of Dad’s love and acceptance. My parents were at every show my band ever played… they even paid for our first few recordings! He never once told me to cut my hair, only to keep it out of my face. He paid for the ridiculous jeans and never once took down the posters he must have hated so much. Through all of it I never once went to bed without my dad kissing me and telling me he loved me. I may not sound like all that much of a delinquent to you, but I pushed him so hard and all I ever got was love and acceptance.

Before the son in Jesus’ story ever got close to home, he was bombarded with hugs and kisses. His dad screamed at the top of his lungs, “My son is home!” Then he threw him a party. That’s what the love of God is like for us… no matter how hard we’ve run or how far we’ve pushed Him, He never stops loving us. We’ll never find the fence.

Found It!

Last week Christy was in the kitchen when she heard Anna shout from the bathroom, “Mom, I’ve got your wedding rings!” She tore through the house towards Anna in a flash… she had taken her rings off to put some lotion on and Anna picked them up off of the sink. When she rounded the corner, she saw a tiny glint of metal fly toward her from Anna’s hand. It was the engagement ring. It hit Christy and fell to the ground. After picking it up, she looked at Anna and said, “Honey, where’s the other ring?” “I don’t know,” Anna replied, “I threw it.” “Where did you throw it?” “I don’t know.”

When Christy called me to tell me the news, I knew instantly that it was time to come home. We didn’t know where to look and we were about to be late for this thing, so I just grabbed the kids and got them out of the house so Christy could look for her wedding band in peace. When I first got home I had tried to comfort her by saying that the ring was just a ‘thing’ and that even if it was gone, it didn’t mean anything about our marriage or any of that stuff, but all my consolation was immaterial. Of course the loss of a ring wouldn’t nullify our marriage… that wasn’t the point! The ring meant something to her… it wasn’t foundational, it was sentimental. It was important to her heart.

The second story Jesus told in Luke 15 is about a woman who lost a coin. It was one of ten silver coins she had, but it wasn’t just money she had lost… scholars tell us that in their culture, these ten drachma coins together represented a woman’s dowry, or the gift of the bride’s family to the bridegroom. It was kind of like their wedding ring. Losing one of these ten coins wasn’t like losing ten bucks or even a hundred dollar bill, it was like losing the wedding band. It wasn’t about value, it was about sentiment… feelings. Jesus said, “Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?”

Christy found her wedding band in just a few minutes, but couches were moved, cushions were tossed and surfaces upturned until that magical moment of discovery. She would have torn the house apart to look for it because it meant so much to her. The engagement ring by itself was not enough. The two had to be together. That’s the way Jesus feels about people. He won’t rest until He has the hearts of everyone who will be His. We don’t always feel such urgency when it comes to reaching out… especially when it involves people we don’t like, people we don’t get and people who get on our nerves. Truth be told, we often think this whole family of God would be better if they weren’t in it, but He’s lighting lamps and sweeping corners in the middle of the night… not resting until He finds them.

Why? Because nine coins isn’t enough… all ten have to be there in order for it to be complete. And its not about the money… it’s not about what value we might represent to Him. It’s all about His heart for us and everyone else (even the folks that we don’t think belong). He just loves us. He loves us as well as the people we don’t love and His heart is not satisfied until we’re all found and together.

Norah looks like she wants something... she probably got it.

Aren’t You Like This?

Yesterday I read a story that I’ve read about a kabillion times, but it hit me in a new way. It was a story Jesus told about a guy who had a hundred sheep and lost one. Actually, it didn’t even really start out as a story… it started out as a question and then sort of morphed into a story later on.

Jesus said, “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?” Now, I’m not a shepherd, but as I read Jesus’ question, I found myself thinking, “Sure. If I had sheep and lost one, I think I’d leave the others and go after it.” Then Jesus started turning the question into a story as He said, “And when he finds it, he joyfully put it on his shoulders and goes home.” When I read that, I started to think, “Yeah… that’s me. I’d do that too…” But then I remembered Banjo and Samson.

My dad used to have this dog named Banjo and he brought him to our apartment once when he stayed with us and Banjo ran away. We chased that dog around a golf course for two hours until he finally let us catch him. When I picked him up, I didn’t “joyfully put him on my shoulders.” In fact, I was mad! I grabbed him, squeezed him and harshly told him, “Don’t you ever do that again.” The same thing happened with our dog Samson once. It didn’t take anywhere near two hours to get him back, but when I got him back, I went off on him for running away like he had any idea what I was talking about.

In Luke 15, tax collectors and “sinners” were gathering around to hear Jesus while the Pharisees and teachers of the law were muttering about Him. It struck me that when it comes to the outrageous love of God, some people gather to it while others mutter about it. Jesus was saying to them, “If your love was put into this situation, wouldn’t you do this? Wouldn’t you drop everything and go after this one?” And I would answer, “Yeah, I think so.” Then Jesus raised the ante by saying, “And then, you’d joyfully put him on your shoulders, right? Aren’t you like that?” And I would have to honestly say, “No… I’m not.” But He didn’t stop there… He went on and took it to an extreme level by saying, “And then, you’d call all your friends and throw a party, right? Isn’t your love like this?” And I’d have to say, “No. It’s not. I think that is ridiculous.” When I found Samson that day, I didn’t fire up the grill, turn on the music and call all my friends. I yelled at a little dog and shamefully brought him back in the house… what a creep.

What started out as a question became a story because Jesus knew what our true answer would be. I think Jesus told this story to say, “I know you’re not like this, but I am. I know your love is not like this, but mine is. It’s outlandish, absurd and over the top. It risks, chases, sings and throws parties.” That’s the love of God and it may not be the love I have, but it’s the love I need.

Class of 2007!

We Really Live

Graduation is always a hard time for folks in youth ministry… it’s a hard time because the people that you have prayed for, poured into and focused so much of your time and heart on are moving on. At the same time, graduation can be a really cool time for us youth folks. Cool, because we’ve watched these little kids become men and women in the Lord and now we get to send them out into the rest of their lives to walk with Him without us. For me, this graduation year has been especially hard and especially cool. This year’s seniors are some of my dearest friends and some of the strongest and most devoted brothers and sisters in Christ I have. The Apostle Paul once wrote, “For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when He comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy.”

Paul wrote those words to the church in Thessalonica. He talked about how much he wanted to come see them but was prevented, so when he couldn’t stand it any longer, he sent Timothy to them to find out how they were… He said he was afraid that the Enemy would have gotten in there and messed everything up so that all of Paul’s work among them would have been for nothing, but then Timothy came back and gave this awesome report about their faith and love… It was all Paul needed. In the midst of his persecution, trials and struggles, finding out that those Thessalonians were still walking it was all the encouragement Paul needed. In fact, he said, “For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord.”

That’s the way I feel about the class of ’07. There have been so many times when the knocks and trials of ministry have just about flooded my heart so that I’m ready to give up when all of a sudden I hear about the faith and love of one my seniors and I am encouraged… Like the time some of them got their cars vandalized in the church parking lot during Bible study by their peers for being Christians… and they didn’t do anything about it… Like the way so many of them have walked in holiness with boyfriends and girlfriends all the way through high school… like the way they’ll do whatever it takes to come to Bible Study… even run for miles on foot when their cars are taken away… like the way so many of them get up every Sunday on their own to worship the Lord (from age 16) while their parents sleep the morning away.

These are just a few examples of the faith of my friends, but they are the things that keep me going. In between games of “Speed Uno” and “Silent Football;” while paper airplanes and bottle caps flew at my face and after far too many rounds of “Stay True,” these guys changed my life. Just like Paul, when I hear about them standing firm in the Lord, I really live.

Something to Laugh About

I have heard stories for years now about Pastor Stuckey and this past week I finally got to meet him. Pastor Stuckey is 97 years old and they say he is dying. You never know exactly what to expect when you are going into the home of a person who is dying, (especially a person who is that old and dying) but I guess I expected to find a dim and somber scene, serious and heavy with the weight of life and death. That’s not what I found. Tom and I pulled up into the driveway and were greeted by a fired-up dachshund barking his head off from inside the house. Once we went in, the barking was drowned out by laughter… Pastor Stuckey’s laughter.

Charles Stuckey was the lay pastor of Berean Bible Church in Knoxville for 30 years. He was my pastor’s pastor and my mentor’s mentor. Over the past nine years, I have heard story after story about Pastor Stuckey… about how he has entire books of the Bible memorized, about how he preached for 23 years out of the book of Revelation, about how he has a set of red PJ’s laid out beside his bed that he wants to go to heaven in and about how he is the sweetest person on this planet. Tom told me that when he was young and fired up about learning as much as possible, he was reading books like Evidence That Demands a Verdict so that he could defend and prove the validity of faith in Christ. Then he met Pastor Stuckey… and with that evidence, the case was closed.

Our visit to Pastor Stuckey’s house was a twenty-five minute flurry of emotions… When we walked into the room, he was seated on the couch reading. He closed his book and called us over so he could hug and kiss us. After that, he started talking and laughing so fast, that I had trouble keeping up. The entire time we were there he only stopped laughing one time and it was so he could tell us about a girl whose daughter he had prayed for had met Christ. When he told that one, he cried… and then he laughed again. I have never seen anything like him. He was literally bursting with joy! He had zero cares or worries and his face was filled with the light of untarnished mirth.

Tom said that Pastor Stuckey has been like that for thirty years. Later on I asked him, “How is that possible? What makes him like that?” Tom said that he just believes the simple Gospel without complicating it. He lets it remain simple and he just really believes it. Psalm 68:3 says, "May the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.”

The righteous are supposed to be glad… and how did we get to be righteous? Jesus paid for and forgave all our sins absolutely for free because He just loves us… now we’ll never be punished for them and we’ll live forever in heaven… in perfect bliss with Him. Do you believe that? Do believe it enough to stop being sad? We like to complicate this message to make our life and problems a much bigger deal than they are, but what if we just really believed the Gospel… wouldn’t just about everything be something to laugh about?

Did You Know?

As I write this I am at a Young Life camp called Sharp Top Cove in Georgia while my girls are back home in Tennessee. Anna had a doctor’s appointment yesterday that she was really scared about and when I finally talked to her last night it was the first time we had spoken in a couple of days. I was missing Christy and the kids so much and I was just dying to tell Anna that I love her. Christy handed Anna the phone and as soon as I heard that little voice say, “Hey Dad!” it jumped out of me… “Anna, I love you!”

I was expecting and waiting on the “I love you too.” But it didn’t come. It was like she didn’t hear me. Instead, she said, “Dad, I went to the doctor.” I said, “I know… hey honey, Did you know I love you?” and again, I got no response. Anna just jumped back into her story and said, “Daddy, I did sooo good at the doctor!” I said, “I know baby… hey, did you know I love you?” Then she said, “Dad, I was so brave at the doctor.” I told her, “I know… I heard. I know all about your doctor’s appointment and what a good girl you were. Now, can I tell you something?” “Yeah” she said. “Did you know Daddy loves you?”

By the end of that phone conversation, I had told Anna six times that I loved her and she never responded… she either didn’t hear me, wasn’t paying attention or else just felt like her story was more important. And it’s not that I wasn’t interested in her story… (one reason I called was to find out about the doctor’s appointment) it’s just that I missed her like crazy and I hadn’t seen or talked to her in two days and I was just dying to tell her that I loved her and hear her say, “I know… I love you too.”

In John 6 some people asked Jesus, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent” I know that in my life there are so many times that I go to the Lord just to talk to Him about all the stuff I’m doing for Him and how hard I’m trying to be brave and good when the only thing He wants to talk about is how much He loves me… He’s dying to tell me while I’m trying to impress Him and all He really wants from me is to believe in His love for me… to believe in Jesus… the living proof of the love of God. Is He trying to get through to you too? In the midst of your ramblings, could He be saying, “Hey… did you know I love you?”

2007 High School Spring Retreat!! A three-day whirlwind of Speed Uno, Puppy Chow, Wet Suits, Waterballoons, German Attack-dog Trainers and a couple of Texans sweetly and strongly bringin' the Word...

Tears on Tape

Last night was Anna’s end of the year pre-school program. The teachers led the kids from each age group up on stage where they stood to sing the songs they had learned in chapel throughout the year. When the three-year-old class started making their way up the stairs, I pressed the red button on our video camera and disappeared behind the LCD display. I caught a glimpse of Anna’s face at the end of a row of pews but couldn’t see it very well on the little screen I was looking at. In my left ear I heard Christy say, “Uh oh…” and then I saw what she saw… Anna’s little face was crumbling and the tears were about to start flowing.

The next thing I knew, most of the three-year-olds were on stage and one of the helpers was holding Anna while her quaking voice rang out over the whole sanctuary… “I want my mommy!” Christy was out of the pew in a flash and up on the stairs of the stage sitting right under Anna as her class started to sing their songs. I zoomed in on those tear-stained cheeks as she looked down at Christy and said, “I’m just sad.” As the other kids mumbled their way through “The Butterfly Song” I watched crocodile tears run down Anna’s face as she looked at Christy and said, “I want my daddy!”

Christy sat with her and she calmed down… in fact, she even started to smile and by the time they got to the third and final song, “God is so good” Anna was pretty much laughing… Christy eased back away from the stage, Anna caught sight of her Granny and her Nan and started to smile in earnest… she even started to sing a little. But as the second verse rolled around, the tears came back…

All year long Anna’s teachers have told us about how she is their little singer… about how she loves chapel and always sings out above the crowd. This has been our experience at home as well. The child loves to sing, and she loves to sing loud. But when you go to pre-school music programs, you don’t really hear the kids singing… you hear them mumble or watch them tap their feet and blow kisses at the cameras while their teachers sing the songs… Last night the low murmur of pre-school singing was broken by Anna’s sobbing voice belting out through the tears, “He loves me so… He loves me so, He’s so good to me!”

It was one of the saddest and yet sweetest things I have ever seen, watching my little girl crying and singing about His love for her through a viewfinder… Psalm 56:8 says, “You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle, are they not in Your book?” (NASB)

After the program, I took Anna out for a chocolate ice cream cone and after we put her in bed, Christy and I sat on the couch and watched the tape again. It was sweet, sad and really cute… I mean, she stole the show. As we watched it back, our hearts broke in love for her. I was thinking about what David said in Psalm 56 when he was in the hands of the Philistines in Gath and how he cried out for God, trusting His love, but crying still and how he took comfort in the fact that God not only knows when we hurt, but He writes it all down. He puts our tears in a bottle… like a time capsule… like a video tape. Years from now we’ll be able to show that tape to Anna and she’ll see how in the moment when she was crying out for Mommy, there was a flash in front of the screen and seconds later, Mommy was there. In the same way, our Lord has recorded all our tears and all our cries to Him. Someday, He’ll show us the tape, and then we’ll see Him rushing to our side when the tears come. We’ll watch strength and laughter return to our faces and see ourselves start to sing (if even through more tears) “He loves me so, He’s so good to me.”

Anna at the park...

Testing the Waters

Have you ever acted like you weren’t going to do something that you really were going to do? Have you ever acted like you didn’t care about something you really do care about? Have you ever pretended that you didn’t want something when you way wanted it? I think this is something we all do from time to time…. Like when a couple of your friends are talking about going to this one movie you really want to see and you’re like, “Oh, you guys are going to see that?” And they say, “Yeah, you want to go?” And then you’re like, “Um, I don’t know…” And then they say that thing you were longing to hear the whole time… “Come one dude! You gotta come… it wouldn’t be the same without you!”

We’ve probably all done it… and we do it because we all have a question we need answered. Does anyone want to hang out with me? Am I cool? Do I have friends? Does anyone love me?

This type of behavior is exactly what you’d expect from insecure, sensitive people who need reassurance, but what does it mean when Jesus does it? Not only that, what does it mean when the victorious Christ, risen from the dead does something like this? This week I was reading Luke 24 where the resurrected Jesus appeared to two people walking to the village of Emmaus from Jerusalem. They didn’t recognize Him, but He explained to them from the Scriptures why the Christ had to suffer. Luke says, “As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus acted as if He were going farther. But they urged Him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So He went in to stay with them.”

Jesus acted like He was going on past Emmaus, but in reality He wanted to go with them… What is up with that? Jesus isn’t insecure the way I am… He isn’t constantly needy the way so many of us are, so why did He act like He was going to do one thing when it is obvious that He wanted to do something else? I think the answer is all wrapped up in the whole point of the resurrection…

Jesus is alive from the dead and He wants something. He wants to be in your life. He is alive from the dead and He wants to live in You. He wants to be a part of your everyday. He wants to go with you into your town… into your house. He wants to sit down to dinner with you and He wants to hang out. The risen Christ has been made (by His victory over sin and death) Lord of all, and as Lord He has dominion over everything. But He doesn’t want to barge in. He wants to know if He’s invited. It’s not about insecurity or neediness, but He wants to know if you love Him. Do you want Him coming home with you? Do you want this Living One to be in your life? True love is not forced, but chosen. The question is: do you love Him? Do you ‘urge Him strongly’ to stay? ‘Cause He really wants to stay…