Seeing the Future

Both times Christy was pregnant we wanted to find out as soon as we could if we were having a girl or boy… Some people like to be all old-school about it and wait so that they can be surprised, and that’s cool; but for me, I knew there were going to be plenty of other surprises in store over the next thirty years and so I was ready to know something for sure. Like, okay… here’s one: a tiny fourteen pound baby girl can burp with just as much volume and intensity as any 240 pound linebacker after he has inhaled an entire pizza… no one bothered to tell me this. It was just like, “Surprise!”

Actually, the real reason I always wanted to know our little girls were little girls as soon as I could was that I just wanted to know them as soon as possible. We named our girls and called them by their names ages before they came into this world because they were already real people and they were already real people who were a part of our everyday lives. But also, we were looking ahead. We were naming them and thinking about not only who they were, but who they were going to be once they were out in the world and in our arms.

I was reading the other day about the death of Moses and how the last thing he ever saw before he died was the Promised Land. He saw a bush on fire that didn’t burn up when he was 80 years old and God made promises about Canaan. 40 years later the nation of Israel was on the threshold of Canaan… the front porch of the Promised Land and God told Moses to climb a mountain and take a look before coming home. Deuteronomy 34:1-2 says this, “Then Moses climbed Mount Nebo from the plains of Moab to the top of Pisgah, across from Jericho. There the Lord showed him the whole land- from Gilead to Dan, all of Naphtali, the territory of Ephraim and Manasseh, all the land of Judah as far as the Western Sea.”

It struck me when I read this that When God was showing Moses “all the land of Judah” it was still filled to bursting with those messed up Jebusites. Israel was still Canaan. You see, our Father looks out over previously claimed and unconquered territory and names it for His children. Don’t you know that Moses’ heart exploded with joy and his eyes filled with tears when God called that land “Judah?” It was what he always wanted.

You know, there is a person I will be one day who trusts God completely, is filled with joy and gratitude all the time and loves everyone more than I do myself. There is a totally righteous me out there who is conformed to the image of Christ and the great thing is, my Father sees that me. May we have eyes of faith to see into the future the way He does… to see unseen victories… He sees who you are and He knows who He’s making you into. May you see with a heart of faith not just losses, failures and problems everywhere, but the land of Judah stretching out before you, knowing He’s going to give it to you one day.

Well, it was sunny and warm for a little while anyway...

Senses and Remembrances

A few weeks ago Christy and I were getting all dressed up to go out on a date and as I was walking past her in the house something strange happened… I was instantaneously transported back nine years to the first few weeks of our dating life! All of a sudden, without planning it and without any warning I was 18 years old again and falling in love… then Norah screamed, Anna laughed and I was back in the present, wondering what in the world had just happened to me. Then, as Christy walked past me, I figured it out… She was wearing the same perfume she used to wear in those early days of our life together and the tiniest whiff of that unmistakable aroma took me back in time.

Have you ever driven past the house you grew up in just to see it? Have you ever listened to an old song you used to love and felt like you were fourteen again? Have you ever eaten something that tastes exactly like your mom used to make? Have you ever walked in your old high school and realized that even though you never once thought about it when you were there, it smells just the same as it did back then? For some reason our memories are so connected to our senses that certain sensations can trigger recollections that are so strong we actually feel as if we are right back there, reliving those moments.

Well, today is Good Friday. And on this day 2,000 years ago God who became man shed His blood for us, dying in our place to pay the penalty for all of our wrong. This is a day where we stop for a while to do something very important. Today is a day to remember. For those who believe in Jesus… for those who love Him and have put their hope and trust in Him, everyday is a day to remember His sacrifice, but today is special, because it was on this day all those years ago that it actually happened… it was on this day that the sun went out at noon and Jesus drank the cup of the full wrath of God on our behalf. It is very important that we remember Him… that we remember His sacrifice and never get too far away from it, because it is our salvation and our hope.

The night before Jesus went to the cross He wanted to make sure His friends would never forget what He was going to do for them, so He gave them a way to remember it... Luke 22 says, “And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after the supper, He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.”

This was and is a lesson for the senses… to feel your fingers tense around the bread as you break it, tearing the fibers as His body was broken... to hear the wine being poured out in the cup, just as His blood was poured out, listening to the way the pitch changes as it fills up… to smell the bread which is like no other smell, just as His life was an aroma of perfection rising up to the pleasure of the Father’s heart… to see the color of the wine like the arresting and shocking color of bright red blood… and to taste them both in your mouth before swallowing… to be nourished not by calories, proteins or vitamins in the meal, but to be nourished by the remembering.

In communion, Jesus has given us a time warp for our hearts. Taking is remembering, in which your senses can transport you right back to the place where you know in the deepest places of your spirit that God loves you and has loved you unto death.

Outshining Stars

Hurry! Run for the hills! I just read that our solar system is moving at a break-neck speed of 43,000 miles per hour toward a cluster of stars we call the Hercules constellation which is in the Andromeda galaxy, and here’s the really bad news… the Andromeda galaxy itself (which is huge and made up of around one trillion stars) is speeding its way toward our sun at the speed of 186 miles per second!

Actually, you don’t have to get too worked up about it because the Andromeda galaxy is around 2.5 million light years away from the Milky Way where we are safely tucked away. Our universe is so huge and full of wonders… explosive and dangerous stars, multicolored spiral, speeding, spinning nebulae and worm holes where the time continuum gets twisted up and stretched like saltwater taffy… Did you know that there was a comet called Hyakutake that was so big and full of ice that when it was passing near the sun it was ejecting 10 tons of water in its wake every second?! Did you know that there is a star in the Orion constellation called Alnilam that is 1,360 light years away from us and is 112,000 times brighter than our sun?! Did you know that our sun sometimes spits out a bunch of extra electrons and when they get to us, they sort of ignite upon hitting our atmosphere giving the folks in the northern part of the western hemisphere a celestial fireworks show we call the Northern Lights?

You see outer space is full of the biggest, fastest, brightest, coolest, most interesting, colorful and most beautiful things in all the universe… but did you know that we’re still God’s favorites? That’s right… us little bitty humans. We may be small, slow, dull, lumpy and wrinkled, but He still likes us the best. We may not always follow the path He’s set out for us the way heavenly bodies do, but He still leads us on. Each one of our hearts may have more darkness than the vast reaches of the celestial void, but He still causes His light to shine in there. Why is this so? Why does God like us better than stars, comets and galaxies? Well, because He just decided to.

Deuteronomy 10 says this, “To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. Yet the Lord set His affection on your forefathers and loved them, and He chose you…” See, even though God has Orion’s belt in His closet and both the big and little dippers in His kitchen cabinets, the thing that He really loves is people. Why? Because He set His affection on us, loves us and chose us. And then He became one of us in the person of Jesus, lived as one of us and died for all of us to pay for all of that darkness so that we might become as Paul says in Philippians 2, “…blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe.”

Christy and Norah...

Waiting

If there’s one thing people in our society hate to do, it is to wait… We want everything and we want it now. That’s why we have fast food, fast cars, fast-access DSL, instant rice, instant coffee and instant oats. It’s why we have quick oil changes and quick weight loss programs. It’s why we have shorthand, shortcuts and short tempers! We don’t have time to sit around and wait for stuff… we don’t want to burn daylight or we’ll wind up burning the midnight oil… We need results and we need them five minutes ago!

I think the enemy of our soul loves this about us… the way we get in a hurry and hate waiting. He knows that our inability to wait for stuff is really grounded in our unwillingness to trust God. If we trusted God we wouldn’t work ourselves up into a fit because we sometimes have to wait for stuff. If we trusted God we would be able to relax and wait for Him to give us everything we need in His time.

When Satan appeared to Jesus in the wilderness to tempt Him, he attacked that trust… He tempted Jesus with quick and painless results to see if our Lord would trust His Father. Luke 4:5-7 says, “The devil led Him up to a high place and showed Him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to Him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. So if you will worship me, it will all be yours.”

Somehow all the kingdoms of the world flashed before Jesus’ eyes in an instant… a fast-access kingship… An immediate sovereignty… This is the way our old enemy always works. He can’t actually think of anything good on his own, so he just takes whatever good and wonderful things God is already planning on giving us and tries to convince us to take them for ourselves out of God’s context or out of God’s timing… You see, The Father is going to give Jesus all the authority and splendor of all the kingdoms of this world, but it will be in the Father’s time. And Jesus had to wait and He had to go to the cross in order to get the crown.

We need to learn how to wait… how to be patient. We need to learn to trust God to give us every good and perfect gift at the right time… after (and only after) He has brought us through all He has in mind for us to be all He has planned. We don’t need everything now. We’re not ready for all of it yet. So let’s trust the Father and just wait on Him.

Norah is walking now!

Waking Up

One of the things that I love about music is that it goes with everything… There is music that can make you dance and there is music that can make you cry. There is music that is good for tight-rope walking and music that is good for smooching… There are lullabies for putting babies to sleep and reveilles for walking up soldiers. There is nothing in the world like that one scene in a great movie where the story, cinematography and musical score all come together to make you feel certain things… and it wouldn’t be the same without that music! Got a situation? I bet there’s music for that… just name it and somebody somewhere has some great music for whatever you’ve got going on!

God has created this universe in such a way that columns of air and vibrating strings can produce frequencies that when combined tastefully by skillful hands can actually do more than register in our ears… they sneak all the way down inside our heart and spirit and tug at something eternal inside us…

This is especially true with praise music… which is music that is written, played and sung not simply to be entertaining or beautiful or mood-setting, but music that is made to be an offering of worship to the Living God who created music. Praise music is unique in that when we use music to praise God, we are using music to accomplish the very purpose of music… in other words, music can be fun, cute, funny, sad, hokey as well as lush, rich, intense and beautiful, but it was created for the purpose of glorifying God.

When God created the universe, thousands upon thousands of angels were watching the whole thing with front row seats and when they witnessed the amazing creative hand of our Lord Jesus, they burst forth in singing! So music itself is older than human beings and older even than this whole world… and the first music was sung to God to say how awesome He is! The first sunrise had a soundtrack of worshipping angels and every day since then, angels have been praising Jesus in song to wake up the day.

Singing praise to God can wake the day, and it can also wake your very heart! Psalm 57 says, “My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake my soul! Awake harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn.” You know, in the beginning of that Psalm, his heart wasn’t so steadfast… how did it get there? Music… and to be more specific, praise music! The praise of angels is what wakes up the day and praise is what will wake your heart up out of darkness and confusion to the light of a day filled with joy…So start your day with praise… fill your day with praise! It will awaken your soul and make your heart steadfast.

Spring is finally here: Anna with a Blooming Daffodil

Talking About Death

Anna and I were driving around listening to the new Norah Jones record when Anna said, “Oh no, Dad… that’s sad.” I hadn’t really been paying attention to anything but the road when she said that, but I rewound the track a little and heard that blusey, rhaspy voice sing the words, “Someday we all have to die.” Again Anna said, “That’s sad… that we all die.”

Some people would say I was wrong to let my child hear lyrics like that… that the idea of death is something a child shouldn’t be faced with thinking about, but I don’t really think that’s true. One of Dostoyevsky’s characters called Myshkin said this about children: “Children can be told anything –anything. Nothing should be concealed from children on the pretext that they are little and it is too early for them to understand. What a miserable and unfortunate idea! Grown-up people do not know that a child can give exceedingly good advice even in the most difficult case.” I pretty much believe this to be true, and so on the way home from Thursday School, my three-year-old and I had a conversation about death.

I told her that Norah Jones was right and that every single person will one day be dead, but that it doesn’t have to be a sad thing for everyone. We talked about Nan’s husband Bob who passed away last August and Anna got excited as she remembered and said, “Dad, Bob went to heaven to be with Jesus!” We talked about how everyone who believes in Jesus and loves Him will be in heaven forever where there will never be sadness or tears again. To which Anna asked, “And no more spankings Dad?” We talked about how this life is just the very beginning of an amazing forever waiting on us and that death is just the last little moment before we get to see Jesus face to face.

Psalm 49:15 says, “But God will redeem my life from the grave. He will surely take me to Himself.” This is the hope of our faith. This is the truth that can flood a heart with peace in the last moments of life and the hard moments of life… that no matter how bad things get down here, there’s heaven waiting and that death is nothing but a passage, because as Christ was raised from the dead, so will I be raised from the dead to real and everlasting life in heaven… Everyone has to die, but anyone who wants to can get up out of their grave and be taken to God for an eternity of true life and ceaseless love with no more sadness, no more tears, and yes, no more spankings.

Anna finally got to eat some snow...

Manliness

I can remember that when I was a little boy it was very important to me to figure out what it means to be manly… I also remember that my impression of manliness came mostly from characters in movies… I thought that to be manly was to be some sort of mix between Rocky, Indiana Jones and Rambo. (By the way, I guess it’s part of the magic of movies that Sylvester Stallone made that list twice…) I thought a true man was someone who was brave, fearless, adventurous, never cried, had a truck load of attitude, was completely physically ripped and pretty much just unstoppable.

Then I met Jesus.

You know, the more I get to know Him, the more things change… His definitions are different than ours. He has a whole different set of priorities and a whole different idea about what makes a man. I was reading Psalm 45 which is a wedding song for the Messiah King who would one day come… the sons of Korah were praising this great one and said, “You are the most excellent of men… Gird your sword upon your side, O mighty one; clothe yourself with splendor and majesty.” At this point I’m thinking, “Awesome! This sounds like a true man… what else will they say about him? “In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility and righteousness…”

I don’t know about you, but I’m reading along about this mighty warrior riding forth in victory in some big parade with His sword and all that and I’m standing there on the road watching the procession pass by as they say the He rides forth in behalf of Truth, and we all cheer… “Yay!” Righteousness, and we all cheer… “Yay!” and… Humility… and while everyone else is cheering, I’m thinking, “What? Humility? That’s not on my list… How can a mighty warrior be humble? How can a true man put humility in his top three? I mean truth and righteousness yes, but making yourself low? Putting yourself below others?

One time James and John asked Jesus if they could be in God’s top three along with Him… seated on His left and right in heaven. All the other guys got mad at them, but probably not because they had the right priorities, rather because somebody else asked the question they wanted to ask before them… Jesus replied “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43-45)

Humility is a required ingredient to greatness because God has made the world that way. It was the humility and condescension of God the Son that overturned the Fall, spoiled principalities and powers, defeated sin and conquered death. It seems backwards, but it’s all a part of the way God has ordered this universe… that weakness is strength, the first will be last, wisdom is foolishness and the greatest will serve. Real men are those who make themselves low, look out for others’ needs first and are servants. Humility is a powerful thing and the humble are mighty indeed.

The girls' first trip hiking...

Don’t Let the Fire Die

This past winter our heater went out and until we got it fixed, we had to borrow space heaters and build fires in our fireplace. Now, I never was a boy scout and I’ve only been camping a few times, so I am no fire building pro. I went out early on the first cold, heater-less morning and gathered tons of leaves and tiny twigs out of the yard. I brought them in and meticulously arranged them along with a few bigger sticks. I lit the fire and got the leaves going immediately… even the twigs caught fire… I was so pumped. I watched in eager expectation as the flames spread when I added a few bigger sticks… my prayer life took a great leap forward as I added the first log, but it didn’t take long for the fire to sputter and die. It is official: I am 27 years old, have a college degree, two daughters and a mortgage, but I can’t light a fire.

For the rest of our days without a heater, my wife lit the fires and I enjoyed their heat. She got pretty good at it actually, and still enjoys a good fire even though we fixed the heater. Personally, I am better at the little box on the wall with the buttons on it that makes the house warmer…

The other day I was reading about a fire that God told his people to light. It was the fire of the whole burnt offering… Back in the days of Moses and Aaron when God’s people were headed to the Promised Land and first learning about how to relate to God, He gave them all kinds of regulations about worship, how to approach Him and what it means to know Him. They had to make a lot of different sacrifices where animals were killed and burned on the fires of an altar. Some offerings were for sin and some were for saying thanks, but one was for devotion. That was the whole burnt offering… in making it, the fire burned up the entire animal… nothing was left over. To make this offering was to say to God, I give my whole self to You. I hold nothing back for myself but consecrate my heart, my mind and really my whole life to You.

I have known and read about this offering before, but the other day I saw something I had never noticed… the fires of the burnt offering were not supposed to go out. Leviticus 6:12-13 says, “The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out. Every morning the priest is to add firewood and arrange the burnt offering on the fire and burn the fat and fellowship offerings on it. The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out.”

After thinking about it, this made perfect sense… if we are really going to offer our whole self to the Lord, we must resolve to be continuously consumed. It needs to be a fire that starts and never flickers out. The priests had to get up early every morning, remove the ashes from the previous day and night and then add new firewood to the burnt offering. It was the first task of every day. I know the fires of my consecration have not always been continuous, but I want to keep them going and the only way to do that is to rise up every day and add fuel to the fire… to spend time with the Lord and offer my whole self everyday. That’s how we are supposed to keep it going… to rise, take out the ashes of yesterday, arrange the wood and offer ourselves to the consuming fire.

A Collage of Anna...

Emotions Allowed

I was driving down the turnpike toward Wal-Mart yesterday listening to the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack when calm finally washed over me and I turned around to apologize to my 13 month old daughter… I had been upset because it was my day off and I was really looking forward to a nap, but Norah wouldn’t sleep. She woke up crying every hour most of the night before this and so surely she would sleep now… I laid her down for the nap and she cried. I changed her and laid her down again and she cried. I gave her some juice and she cried some more. I gave her some time, but she just kept on crying, so I grabbed her and the short shopping list we had and huffed and puffed all the way to the car. I know it was childish and petty, but I didn’t look at her face the whole time I was getting her in the car. I was just so frustrated and upset…

I fumed and fussed under my breath as we drove and Norah was finally stone silent. I knew I was a mess and getting messier with every second, so I decided I better try and pray… but how could I? How could I go before the Lord in all His majesty and holiness with a boiling heart full of irritation directed at a tiny little baby? I don’t really know how to answer that question except to say, I just did; I just prayed to Him. And here’s the thing… He gave me peace. He calmed my stupid, aggravated heart right down. I stopped at a red light, listened as the piano played the most beautiful melody, repented of my anger and turned around to tell Norah I was sorry. I looked into those gigantic blue eyes and asked the forgiveness of a 1 year-old… She smiled at me.

I really believe that because of the amazing truths of the Gospel (what we have in light of what we deserve) we should be full of joy all the time. I believe that because we have been freely forgiven and declared righteous in the sight of God that the only emotion we have a right to is gratitude… I believe that, and yet I know that I’m not always joyful and grateful. You know, I think we sometimes feel that if we are not living up to the full potential of our new lives in Christ that He doesn’t want to have anything to do with us… we become filled with guilt for not being everything we can be, and we feel that we can’t go to Him and we can’t be who we truly are. But if we can’t bring our anger, frustration, loneliness, anguish and hurt before the Lord, where can we bring it?

Psalm 25:16-18 says, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and distress and take away all my sins.” Sure, we should be joyful all the time, but when we’re not, He still wants to know. Your emotions are welcome on His doorstep. You are allowed to be yourself in prayer. Maybe you’re not always who you should be, but you’re still His… Take your anger, take your troubles and take your sin to Him… there’s no better place to take it.

Norah... happy, healthy and tons more fun for everyone!

When will it End?

The other night I looked at the clock right before I finally dozed off… it was 11:27. Then I heard it… one of the kids was throwing up... then came the crying. I opened my eyes again and the clock was the first thing I saw. It was 11:30, I had been asleep for three minutes and this was going to be an awesome night…

Norah was sick with some sort of stomach virus. She spent most of that night pale and shaking with a wild look in her eyes in between bouts of getting sick and crying. I think we went through enough sheets, towels and outfits to make more than two loads of laundry. It was one of those nights as a parent where you are dead tired and your body is begging for sleep, but your mind is spinning because you’re constantly second guessing every move you make to better this situation that has your heart crushed for your confused little hurting baby who has no idea what’s going on and is looking at you with those big blue eyes as if to say, “Do something!”

In the middle of the stomach flu, there is only one question going through my mind: When is this going to end? In the thick of it, you don’t think that you’ll ever feel normal again… it’s hard to remember a time when you weren’t surrounded by sickness and it’s impossible to imagine a time when it won’t be this way. I think life can get that way at times… When you’re neck deep in problems, hurts, frustrations and stresses it’s easy to feel that nothing will ever change. When will it end? Is there a finish line to all of these temptations, struggles and pains?

The great news is that if you know Jesus, there is a finish line! There is coming a day when we will all rest from our labors. There is coming a day of joy and victory where all problems and pains will be swallowed by infinite praise, gladness and laughter. My friend Christi used to always say that no matter how bad it gets, “We’ll be in heaven someday!” That is our hope and trust… that one day both the sad and hard will be swallowed up whole by love… but when? How much more of this will we have to take before that day happens? In Matthew 24:36, Jesus says that “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

No one knows… except the Father! Isn’t it great to know that someone knows… that He knows? Isn’t it a comforting thought to know that although we have no idea when the end is coming, our Father does? He knows the exact day and hour when all our worries, struggles, pains and problems will come crashing down with the glorious sight of the Son of Man… we don’t know when, but at least He does! He knows exactly why He has you in every hard situation you’re in… why He has surrounded you with the people you find yourself with… He knows exactly how long this will all last and He knows exactly when to step on stage. So we can trust Him, we can keep going and we can make it… because we will make it… right up to that moment, the day and the hour only He knows.

A five star shot from the first and possibly semi-annual 'Triple C' pictorial scavenger hunt...

Light of Dawn

When I wake up in the morning, I’m always really careful and quiet, trying not to make any noise in the pitch dark so as not to wake up the babies, but I almost always wind up making a huge racket anyway! And the worst part is, I do the same exact thing almost every day… I shut off my alarm and creep slowly and silently into the bathroom where I slam my little toe into the corner of this stepping stool Anna uses so that she can reach the sink. After crushing my toe, I usually keel over and knock something loud and ceramic into the sink while I wordlessly agonize over the pain pulsating through my most insignificant appendage. You might think that after almost two years of that little stool sitting right there in front of our bathroom sink, I would remember it in the morning and not injure myself on it, but no, I never remember it... I just can’t see the thing.

Proverbs 4:18-19 says, “The path of righteousness is like the first gleam of dawn, shining even brighter till the full light of day. But the way of wickedness is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.” When we are walking outside of what the Lord wants for our life, we are in the dark. I know that in my life, when I have been traveling on the ‘way of wickedness’ I stumble and fall over and over again into the same things… You would think that after a while we would learn where the pitfalls are even if we are in the dark, but we don’t. You see, the way of wickedness never changes. There’s no light, you can’t see where you’re going and so you just keep stumbling over the same things again and again.

The great thing about walking in obedience is that it is dynamic… you are changing and growing. Unlike the darkness where nothing ever changes, righteousness gets easier and easier. I was a freshman in college when I first heard a sermon about this idea. I had always thought (and always heard) that life would ever be the same as it always was… a fight where I mostly lost and wasn’t really fighting. Then I heard that holiness builds on its self and you get better at it as you go along on the path of righteousness. The fight gets harder and more fierce as your life goes along, but the more you walk with Him, the better you get at fighting it.

It’s like the first light of dawn… as you start to walk in righteousness, it’s still mostly dark, but you can see silhouettes of shapes you didn’t know were there. As you avoid those, the light gets a little brighter and you can see colors and shadows. As you keep walking, the day comes on stronger with more and more light. Walking in disobedience never changes… it doesn’t even get harder. It just has you beaten. But walking with the Lord gets both harder and easier as you go along throughout your life… it gets brighter and clearer as you get older and better at walking and fighting.

Unload, Fill Up

So, what do you do when you are in the middle of a huge problem, hurt or crisis and you know that you not only have to deal with whatever that is, but you have a whole day of stuff waiting on you after you’re done with it? I don’t know if you’ve ever had a day like that… a day where you start out covered up and don’t have anywhere to go but deeper in… How do you deal with your emotions, (whether its stress, disappointment, frustration or anger) to a point where you’re not only ready to keep going, but ready to serve?

This week I read a story about Jesus that was so candid, personal and sweet that I felt indelibly connected to Him not only as my God, but as a person as well… Matthew 14 tells us about the murder of John the Baptist at the hands of Herod. When John’s disciples found out, they took the body, buried it and then went to tell Jesus. So, how would Jesus respond to the execution of his relative, friend and fellow soldier in the good fight? Jesus had said earlier that “Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist.” In the next breath He said that from John’s time until now, “…the kingdom has been forcefully advancing.” For Jesus, this wasn’t just the death of a family member and friend… these were the dark tidings that His own time was coming soon. How would our Lord respond to such disturbing, sad and ominous news?

Matthew 14:13 says, “When Jesus heard what happened, He withdrew by boat to a solitary place.” Jesus got into a boat, went out on the water, rowed to a lonesome place like some little-known cove where He could be sure of privacy and grieved. You just know it was a time of tears, prayers and songs where Jesus went from the pain of loss to the joy of knowing John would be home. It was a time for Him to reflect on the fact that He too would meet a violent death. And it was a time for Him to get ready because His day wasn’t over yet…

See, verse 14 tells us that when Jesus landed, all the crowds were waiting on Him. Matthew says that Jesus had compassion on them and spent the rest of the day healing their sick. Can you believe it? Jesus doesn’t take days to mourn… He jumps right back in because “The kingdom is forcefully advancing.” How did He do it? -He got into a boat, withdrew to a solitary place and met with the Father. Jesus unloaded His hurt, grief, sadness and fears about the future and then became filled up so that He was not only able to face the day, but to have compassion on the crowds and serve them!

That’s the kind of heart I want… the kind that knows how to get alone with the Father, give Him all my hurts and burdens so that I am free and filled up to face and fight whatever the day may bring… in short, a heart like Jesus’ heart.

Norah at the Nursery... (taken by Aunt Jodie)

Being Quiet

“The world is a very noisy place. If you want to be heard, you have to speak up.” –that is the motto of a company called LOUD, an advertising agency located in Australia. And they’re right, you know… This world is so noisy! Everywhere you go there are stereos blasting, cell phones ringing and TV’s screaming. These days, you can’t even sit down to a quiet meal in a restaurant because they are not only playing the radio at that really annoying volume right above inaudibility and right below song-recognition-level, but they may also be playing several TV’s at once that are all tuned to different stations! It seems that advances and discoveries in technology and communication are not only making our world smaller, but they are also making it a whole lot louder. At times it seems that there are no quiet places left.

That is one thing I love about Young Life camp… it’s quiet. I mean, there is music at dinner and club is really loud, but outside of that, campers and leaders are surrounded by nature and its deafening quiet. Young Life camp becomes real to me right before we get off the bus and take away all the cell phones and iPods. You should see their bewildered faces… I think most kids honestly believe that without their portable noise machines they will actually starve or something. But then they get off the bus and start to just live, talk and laugh to the soundtrack of crickets, breezes and the occasional thunderstorm. When we went to Crooked Creek Ranch in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, we hiked to the summit of an 11,000 ft peak and just sat in silence for two minutes. I think it was the first time most of those kids had ever sat in waking silence, and God was there.

Tom always says that our world is so stinkin’ noisy because Satan likes it that way… that he lives in the noise and confusion. Proverbs 9:13 says, “The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without knowledge. She sits at the door of her house, on a seat at the highest point of the city, calling out to those who pass by, who go straight on their way.”

For those of us trying to keep going straight on our way, we have to learn to have a quiet heart. Wisdom is quiet, subtle, harder to hear. Folly shouts from the highest place, loud enough for everyone to hear. It’s easy to fall away and follow that bellowing voice, but over and over again the Scriptures talk about how important it is to be quiet… Peter says that a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God’s sight. Isaiah 30 says, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” Chapter 32 says, “The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.” Even our Lord woke early when it was still dark and went to lonely places to pray.

We have to learn to be still… to quiet our souls as David said in Psalm 131. And it’s not that I’ve ever heard God’s audible voice by just being quiet enough… I’m not saying or guaranteeing that by being quiet you’ll hear Him like that, but one thing I do know… when you have a quiet heart, Folly won’t be as loud in your ears.

Anna is drawing faces now... the one on the left is me, can't you tell?

In Place

Anna loves the moon… I know I’ve mentioned that before, but considering her level of affection for the ever-hanging, waxing and waning silvery orb, it’s worth another mention. Whenever we drive at night, she is on a constant search for the moon out of her window and when she finds it, she goes nuts. You know those mornings where you can still see the moon even though the sun is shining brightly? Well, she loves those mornings! When the sun starts to go down at the end of the day, Anna almost always says, “Oh! It’s getting dark outside… I bet that I can go see the moon!”

The other night Anna was all ready to go to bed, but she really wanted to go outside for just a few minutes and see the moon one last time, so I picked her up and we headed out the front door. I put her on my shoulders and we walked up and down the middle of the street pointing out stars and looking for the moon. It was a fairly clear night and we saw tons of stars, but the moon was nowhere to be seen… Anna looked all over the place with no success and finally said, “Hey Dad, I don’t see the moon… maybe it went night-night, just like I’m going night-night.”

It was dark when I left the house the next morning, and when I walked outside, I looked up in the sky and there it was… a huge, bright moon staring down on our little house. It turns out that it was there all along, it had just been hiding behind the few clouds that were in the sky earlier in the night. And the moon always is there, night after night, right where God placed it. Psalm 8 says, “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars which You have set in place, What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?”

I guess I have always thought that those verses were referring to the vastness of the cosmos and that the Psalmist was saying, “When I think of all the huge and immeasurable things You created, it amazes me that You care about a little ‘ole dust creature like me.” But that doesn’t really make a ton of sense, because God cares about all kinds of tiny things too, or else He wouldn’t have made 300,000 species of beetles. And what about the fact that every creature is made up of billions of cells which are made up of even tinier things like proteins, acids and on down to molecules, atoms and electrons… We might be small and we might be made of dust, but isn’t the moon just a big huge clump of dust anyway?

See, I don’t think the Psalmist is amazed by God’s attention and affection toward humans because of size… He says, “When I think of… the moon and stars which You have set in place…” See, the moon was set in place and it does exactly what it was made to do… It shines in the darkness when it is told to and perfectly travels the path God has laid out for it. In fact, everything in God’s creation stays in place… except us. People are the exception. And yet He is mindful of us… even when we aren’t mindful of Him. He cares for us and through His Son has redeemed us and crowned us with glory and honor. We’re the only ones who step out of place, and He loves us still… now that’s amazing!

Norah's 1st Birthday... There used to be cake on this plate!

Born of God

Tuesday was Norah’s first birthday… it’s pretty hard to believe that it’s been a year since the amazing night at the end of that marathon labor when she finally arrived! It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year of diapers and long nights, sweet smiles and slobbery kisses. I don’t think I’ll ever forget watching Norah being born. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed… seen… experienced… whatever part I played, I was there and I won’t forget it. And you’ll never hear me say that there is anything in this world my wife can’t do, because after that… whoa.

When we got pregnant with Anna, it was a total surprise. We weren’t planning on having kids yet, but God had other plans (and much better plans) than we did. But with Norah, we thought about it, talked about it, prayed about it and finally decided it was time to try for another baby. Of course, even then we didn’t get pregnant right away. People would always ask us, “Are you trying for a boy this time?” ...Umm, let’s see… I don’t really understand that question because we don’t actually have very much control over that… When people asked me that question, I would always say, “We’re trying for a baby… a human baby. That’s all I know.” We couldn’t control when she arrived, who she would be or what she would look like. We decided it was time to try, but God didn’t even wait for us to do that the first time around!

Sometimes when I think about being a child of God, it feels heavy. Like some sort of test I can never pass or standard I can never live up to… What about those dreary, sullen days where my heart feels puny and my soul feels downcast? What about those days where my faith is weak and I’m just not holding onto Him very tightly? This morning I was reading about what it means to become a child of God. John says, “Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God. –Children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

When I read that, I remembered what Tom told our friend June one time: “It’s not you who’s holding onto Him, He’s holding onto you…” This relationship with God didn’t start with my desire for Him and it isn’t dependent on my goodness or faithfulness. I was born not of natural, but of supernatural descent. I was born not of human, but of Divine decision. I was born not of a husband’s will but by the Father’s will. I was born of God. He’s the one doing this. He decided this. He’s bringing me about and passing things down. All I do is believe… believe that for some reason, God loves me, and I’m His kid.

Patrick Williams... A.K.A. Ladies Man of the High School Bible Study Christmas Party

Our Singing Father

When I was in college, I worked at an after-school daycare for Elementary school kids. We would gather them up after school, feed them a snack, read books, make crafts, play board games and help them with homework until their folks got off work and could pick them up. One boy that we took care of was named Danny. Danny had Cerebral Palsy, was blind and was confined to a wheelchair. We couldn’t feed him anything because he had a highly specialized diet and he couldn’t speak.

At first it was really hard to hang around Danny because I never knew if I was doing the right things… I didn’t know if he was having a good time or really liked the things we did with him because he couldn’t tell us. Occasionally we knew we weren’t doing the right things because he would just sorta lose it… kicking, screaming and crying. On Danny’s first day, his teacher told me that if he ever had a meltdown to go into her room and get this particular CD from her desk. The CD contained a track called “Good Morning” that she played first thing everyday for the class. She said that Danny loved that song…

After a few weeks of having Danny and after a few meltdowns (his and mine) I finally remembered the CD… I wheeled Danny into his classroom and scoured the desk for the CD and found it. I popped it into the player and advanced the tracks to the “Good Morning” song… and presto… it worked! As soon as that song started playing, he stopped shaking and crying and calmed down. He inclined his little head toward the CD player and just listened, breathing slowly in and out. When the song was over, he started to get upset again, so I played it again. We spent most of that afternoon in Danny’s classroom listening to “Good Morning” over and over again until his folks came to get him… The next day he was fine and didn’t have a problem for a while, but every couple of weeks Danny would have a “Good Morning” day and we would just sit by that CD player listening to that song again and again.

One of my favorite verses in the all of the Scriptures is Zephaniah 3:17 which says, “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” I have always loved the thought of God singing… what must His voice sound like? How rich, haunting and beautiful must be the melodies of God? Well, the answer so far is, I don’t really know… I’ve never heard Him singing; but then again, in some ways, I have. That is to say, I’ve had Danny-like “Good Morning” type days where I am falling apart at the seams, kicking and crying and only one thing can calm me down… the songs of God.

I haven’t heard them with my ears yet, but I’ve heard them in my spirit, and on those days I do know somehow that He delights in me, and knowing that, He does quiet me with His love. I know that God rejoices over me with singing. I haven’t heard it with my ears yet, but one day I will and when I do, I’ll know then what I’ve always known about God’s song… it’s a love song.

Dad and Karen... A.K.A. Mr. and Mrs. James Younger II

With Us…

Yesterday my dad got married. It was a sweet and Spirit-filled testimony to the faithfulness of God… as my sister prayed the night before, Christmas reminds us that God keeps His promises. What an awesome time to be married! Christy said that she was so glad they got married right before Christmas… For two people who have been alone, sad and hurting long enough, they don’t have to spend even one more sad Christmas without someone to hold onto… someone to be with.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been reading the Minor prophets… you know, all those obscure, tiny and sometimes strange little books with the dust all over the pages in between Ezekiel and Matthew… yeah, well in reading them, I feel I have been seeing the meaning of Christmas from God’s side of things. If Christmas is the keeping of the promises, then why not go back and check out the promises to see what our Lord thinks about the coming of the Christ?

In Zechariah 2, The Lord says, “I am coming and I will live among you.” In Zephaniah 3 He says, “The Lord, the King of Israel is with you… The Lord your God is with you.” Micah 5 says that He will stand and shepherd His flock and will be their peace. Micah 4 says that the Lord will rule over them in Zion and chapter 2 says that the One who breaks open the way will go up before them…their King will pass through before them, the Lord at their head… The promises tell us a King is coming. Our God is coming. He will gather us, assemble us, lead us out and redeem us Himself. He will be our peace and save us. Zechariah says He will remove our sin in a single day and He will live among us…

I think that for our Lord, Christmas is about ‘with.’ He did more than give us a set of principles and an example to follow… He came here… became one of us. He was and is with us. We don’t have a certain number of noble truths or a bunch of tenants or some eight-fold path to follow… we have Jesus. Our Creator who emptied Himself to come down here and be with us… and for all who believe in Him, He is always with us. Fulfilled prophecies and promises made good… that’s Christmas. “A virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son and they will call him Immanuel –which means, “God with us.”

Queen Anna...

To Rule or Be Ruled…

Last night, as we were about to sit down at the table to eat dinner, I asked Anna to go to bathroom and wash her hands. She was looking at a book and said, “Dad, I’m reading right now.” I told her that it was dinner time and she could read her books after she ate but that she needed to go wash her hands. She looked up at me and said, “But, I don’t want to wash my hands.” I looked back at her and said, “Anna, go to the bathroom and wash your hands.” She climbed down from her seat and started to walk to the bathroom and as she was walking away, I heard a very pouty voice saying, “I’ll go wash my hands, but I don’t want to wash my hands…”

And so is revealed in my sweet little daughter the major malfunction of every human heart… we all want to run our own lives. We want to be the ones calling the shots and having the final say when it comes to ourselves. We want to be the kings or queens of our own little private world, but there is a problem with that… none of us are very good rulers. You see, we weren’t made to be the rulers of ourselves and when we try to be in charge, we just make a mess of everything! We were made to be people ruled by God and there is no greater freedom than that of being a subject in His kingdom. I’m coming to believe that the number one issue in Christian discipleship is the concept of Jesus’ Kingship; His right to be in charge of my life. It’s what Christmas is all about…

When Herod found out that an infant had been born in his backyard who had the right to the throne of Israel, he freaked out! He became paranoid, angry, hostile and eventually insane with homicidal rage. He was so scared of losing control of his little world that he did something crazy… he ordered that every little boy two years-old or younger in Bethlehem be slaughtered… He murdered little kids out of fear of being ruled… out of fear of losing control… out of fear of having a King over him.

We’re all pretty much like Herod in some way… we may not have gone to his extreme, but we are all paranoid over losing our throne. We’re all trying to escape the rule of Jesus as our King in some way in our lives… The thing is; we’re not very good kings. We weren’t meant to have control and for good reason, because when we do try to run the show, we are our worst selves… we get angry, bitter, jealous, insecure and sometimes we even go insane. The worst mistakes and sins in our lives have been expressions of us wanting to seize the authority that only Christ has the right or the ability to wield.

When Isaiah foretold the coming of the Infant King, he said, “Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.” -Isaiah 9:7. The kingship of Christ is something God Almighty is doing… it will happen and it is the only hope for the freedom and happiness of the human heart. So give up, give in and make Jesus your King today… it’s the best way to have a Merry Christmas!

Christmas-time Norah

From Nightmares to Dreams

I don’t put too much stock in dreams… maybe that’s because I can’t ever really remember my dreams or maybe it’s because the ones I do remember are usually pretty stupid… a few nights ago I remembered one in which this guy I know named Chase had my favorite coat on, but he wouldn’t give it back, so I chased him through the city streets for a while. Then I guess I got bored or forgot about him and the coat and wound up playing Frisbee… see what I mean?

I’ve been thinking about Joseph lately and how he had so many crazy dreams on that first Christmas. You know, until he had that first angel-invaded dream, Joseph must have felt like he was trapped in a living nightmare… being so in love and so excited about being married, only to find out that his fiancé cheated on him and was now carrying the child of her infidelity. And he thought Mary was so awesome too… it must have left him brokenhearted and wondering, “Why?”

Sometimes when I think about my life, I wish it were only a dream because it sort of feels like I’m trapped inside a nightmare… I’m not talking about my family, my job or any of my friends or our money or anything… I’m talking about those moments in life when the curtain is pulled back and I really see who I am… when my selfishness, baseness, cruelty, pride and immaturity are exposed… when I see my sin for real. In those moments, when I really see what a mess I am, it feels like I’m stuck in a nightmare and can’t wake up…

Psalm 126 says, “When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.” It goes onto say that their tears were turned into songs of joy because of what the Lord has done… That’s what happened to Joseph. He laid his tear-stained face down one night to go to sleep and an angel showed up in a dream to turn those tears of sorrow into songs of joy, telling him that Mary wasn’t unfaithful but that the Messiah, the Son of God was growing inside her! His nightmares became like dreams and his heart was full of joy!

When I think of what God has done for me because of that little baby that was born to Mary and Joseph, it fills me with laughter and joy! Jesus has taken my sin, He has paid my price and given me new life, declaring me clean and righteous in Him and now He’s changing me, making me more like Him… He has done great things for us. He is turning our nightmares into dreams and our sorrow into song! Now we are forgiven and free, righteous and new, like people dreaming…

Christy and Anna over Thanksgiving

Your Best God Impression

Well, it’s only December 1 and I already feel like I’m in a December 27 state of mind. Let me explain… You see, Psalty, the Singing Songbook always says that Christmas is a time for love, but as soon as the packages are busted, the feast is digested, and the relatives are on their way home, (on the 26th or 27th that is) the tree may still be up, but most folks usually unwind and become their old Scroogy self again. And when I think back on yesterday, I wasn’t really in the Christmas spirit… I was more in the post-Christmas spirit. I was short-tempered and selfish… I can remember at least three toddlerish fits that I threw, and at one point I became so worried that if I could have called a Time-Out on the whole day and just gone to sleep, I would have.

It was awful! I was awful… I wish I could just take a ‘mulligan’ on the way I acted that whole day. When I think back on it, I know exactly what happened… it’s what always happens. It was an all about Lee day, and whenever I make my day all about myself, no one has fun… including me! This morning I woke up regretting yesterday and dreading today until I read some awesome verses in Ephesians 5… Paul says, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us…”

I’m not supposed to walk around all day focused on myself, stressing about myself, protecting my own interests and clinging so desperately to my own opinions, but rather I should be walking through this day doing my best God impression… giving myself up for everyone around me, looking out for their interests, listening to their hearts and caring about their needs. I’m not supposed to live a life of Lee, but rather a life of love… the way Love Himself lived when He was here.

People always say the spirit of Christmas is giving, and if that means giving up your self for others the way Jesus did, then maybe that is true… He gave up the unwearied adoration and ceaseless praise of angels who continuously do His will without complaint or reservation to be a poor and unknown blue-collar worker in a small town. He gave up glorious bliss and unlimited power to become a human being with aches, pains, limitations and problems. He laid aside His glory because He ever lives a life of self sacrifice, giving up all to give us all. That is what Christmas is all about and that is what it means to live a life of love.