His Own

“Hell on wheels.” he said. “I mean, I’m trying to slow down, but right now all He would see is hell on wheels.”

Darren’s response landed hard on the linoleum floors of that stuffy, cinder-block room. I was back at the Anderson County Jail and we were all sitting on metal folding chairs in the weekly Bible Study that, for at least one guy there, is the only church he’s ever known. I asked the guys this question: “How do you think God sees you?” As soon as I said it, three guys just dropped their heads. Others averted their eyes and some just stared blankly right past me or right through me. Darren shook his head and told us all that God basically sees him going to hell and quickly. Another guy pointed to the page of lyrics that we just finished singing and said, “The first verse of this song pretty much sums it up for me. That is me. That’s how He sees me.”

He was pointing to the lyrics of a brand new song written just this morning, and specifically for those guys. The song is called “His Own” and it’s all about pointing out the difference in who we used to be compared with who we truly are now. It goes like this:

HIS OWN

I was lost, I was aimless
I was broken, I was hopeless
I was hurt, I was lonely
Thinking of myself only
But Jesus made me His own

I’m righteous, forgiven, I’m totally clean
I’m headed to heaven, a child of the King
I’ll never be judged or condemned or alone
‘Cause Jesus has made me His own

I was hard, I was angry
I was trapped, who could save me?
But Jesus died, spilled His own blood
Gave His life out of His love
Now I am His own
(CHORUS)

I was dead, my life showed it
I needed hope and didn’t know it
Now I live, now I’m set free
Now I can be a new me
Since He made me His own
(CHORUS)

We talked about how Jesus paid for all our wrong so that He doesn’t see us in those old ways anymore and He never will again! Sure, I’ve been a mess. Sure, I’ve been a lawbreaker and a liar and a thief and host of other horrible things... yes, those things are true of me, but there is something else that is true of me and this truth is deeper and more true than anything else. It is that Jesus died for me, making me His, which means that I am forgiven and free and righteous and holy in the sight of God. I am completely loved and clean and acceptable. I am His.

This past week I got to watch my favorite songwriter, Andrew Peterson perform songs from his new album. It was a beautiful concert and I won’t soon forget it. But the moment that really stuck in my head was when he sang with such certainty these words,

“I’ve got voices that scream in my head like a siren
Fears that I feel in the night when I sleep
Stupid choices I made when I played in the mire
Like a kid in the mud on some dirty blind street
I’ve got sorrow to spare, I’ve got loneliness too
I’ve got blood on these hands that hold on to the truth
That I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God”

As we left the small cinder-block room at the end of Bible Study, one of the guys came up to me and said, “Bring that new song back next week. We need to sing that one again.”